#candy coated fury

[ghastlyklownz]

now i wanna draw the clown from cheer up

[slashersilly]

celebrating me snagging the CD :)

[yumenosakiacademy]

the ska stays ON during sex

[kayhi808]

First Crush 16 - Happy Halloween

I know this is late but technically it's still Halloween in Hawaii. I hope everyone has fun tonight! 🥰

"Honey, you're going to need to stay still."

Abby is squirmy in the make up chair, "But N'asha, I soooo 'cited!" Raising her little fists up in the air, ready for Halloween to begin.

Stepping back with her hands on her hip, "Well, if you stuck to being a Widow, we don't have to do this part."

Sitting still as can be, "No tank you. I needs to be Diwctor Fuwy! I stay still." Natasha continues to glue down the skull cap to Abby's head.

You enter the room with Abby's utility belt stocked with snacks and her trench coat. "Ok I think...." You stop in your tracks to stare at your daughter. The cap has made her completely bald looking. You're still undecided on how to feel about her costume of choice. Once Abby sets her mind to something it's hard to convince her otherwise. You had drawn in her goatee earlier, so she was just about done. She's still wearing the Widow suit underneath the trench.

"Mama, lookit! I no more hairs!" Abby cackles as Natasha sets her down.

She skips over to you, "Yes, I can see that." You strap on her utility belt. "While we're out, you only eat the snacks in here. You cannot touch the candy you collect, ok? I'll need to check it first."

"Okies, Mama!"

You help her on with her trenchcoat and runs over to the mirror & she squeals. " Do you like it?"

She jumps up and down, "I loves it so much!" She runs over to hug Natasha "Tank you!"

"Have fun tonight," she places the final touch of the eye patch on. "Listen to your Mama."

******

Chloe, Mia and their mothers were going to meet up at the Tower before hitting the nearby neighborhoods with the girls. You dressed yourself up as a hobbit. Brown capris & vest with a white poet shirt, a green hooded cape and a walking stick. It was the same costume as last year. You had always thought the stick could double as a weapon if need be. Bucky scoffed at your idea. He said him and Sam would be joining you for protection. He refused to have you and Abby out and about on a crazy night like Halloween unprotected.

You let Abby make her entrance and you watched the looks on Bucky and Sam's faces. Speechless. Horrified. Abby did her little sashay around the room, stopping in front of Bucky, jumping up and down with her hands clasped. "Do yous loves it?!" She plays with the trench to make the bottom swish.

Bucky's mouth is open & closing like a fish out of water. He turns to Sam, "Don't look at me. She asked you."

"Wow! Abigail. Wow!" Bucky's eyes meet yours and you give him a smirk.

"This whole...look? It's going to be embedded in my brain FOREVER," Sam nods at Abby.

Abby claps her hands, "Tank you!!"

The horror hasn't left Bucky's eyes as you laugh, "We better head downstairs."

While on the elevator ride down, both Bucky and Sam try touching Abby's bald skull cap without her knowing. "Stop," you hiss at them.

The elevators open to the lobby and when the little girls see each other they all squeal and scream, running to hug each other. They are so cute! Chloe is dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and Mia is Ren from Star Wars. The 3 girls gush over the sparkly shoes, Mia's mini light saber and of course Abby's bald head. Quick introductions are made amongst the adults. Bucky had met their husbands at the father/daughter dance at the daycare so they were a little familiar with each other. And Sam is so personable, he makes everyone feel at ease.

They were about to head out when the glass door slide open and Nick Fury and Maria Hill walk in. All 3 little girls gasp. Eyes wide and mouths shaped as little "o". Just like the time before, very intimidating and frightening, trench coat flowing behind him, cutting a striking figure across the lobby.

Abby runs across the lobby, followed by her 2 best friends. "Diwector Fuwy!!" She hugs his leg, "Happy Hanoween!"

He frowns down at her, 'Who the hell are you supposed to be?!"

Chloe is afraid of his tone and Mia hold her hand. The parents quickly follow.

Abby covers her mouth and giggles. "I'm you!!" She does a little turn making sure her trench swishes out. She slides her hand in his. "You wikes it?"

"Just say you like it," Bucky says with a little growl in his voice.

You try to distract & gather everyone to head out.

Abby looks at her friends, "Him's my fwend. He's so smart and braves. Him's the big boss to my Mama, Bucky, Captain America, Black Widow, Fawcon, Iron Man, Green Man, Lightning Man, Arrow Man....all dem Avengers. He protects the whole world and even space!" Fury doesn't look as angry & gives her little hand a squeeze. "And keeps us safe." Poking her eyepatch, "So no one steals our eyeballs, right?" His frown is back in full force and her drops her hand. He takes out his money clip and drops some money into the girls bags. "Get the hell out of my lobby. Go get some ice cream or something."

Again the girls gasp and a chorus of "Tank you, Diwector Fuwy! Happy Hanoween!" They all giggle and wave like the mini fan club that they are now.

"Ok, let's get started." You all start heading out and you turn to Bucky, "I thought Steve would join us tonight."

Abby pipes up, "Uncle Steve is on important dates. He cannot."

Bucky narrows his eyes at Abby, "How do you know he's on an important date?"

Abby shrugs before running off to join her friends, "Him tells me tings."

@waywardhunter95 @wintrsoldrluvr @rebeccapineapple @ordelixx @onceithough @thezombieprostitute @ilovetaquitosmmmm @julvrs @unaxv @s-a-v-a-n-a-34 @winterslove1917 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @mrsnikstan @hisredheadedgoddess28 @itsteambarnes @otterlycanadian @purplecolordeer @samsgirl93 @buckitostan @littleredwolf @mcucatlady @silas-aeiou @hzdhrtss @florie1 @thecubanator2 @enchantedbarnes @selella @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @cjand10 @pancake-05 @ozwriterchick @crazyunsexycool @baw1066 @nommingonfood @jvanilly

[romanoffsbish]

Through the Eras

Natasha Romanoff x Fem(Stylist)!Reader

Natasha was a master of disguise, she didn’t need any help in that department, but Fury had a different plan, and she didn’t feel a need to push back when she saw it unfolding. Aka, Natasha is a simp for R, and this is them falling in love over a decades time.

2011-IM2, 2012-OG Avengers, 2014-Winter Soldier, 2016-Civil War, 2018-IW, 2023-EG

All Canon besides EG.

Warnings: Violence, Death, Grief, but like mostly happy/fluffy.

Smut: Bottom!Nat, Oral/Strap(N), Praising.

2002

Natasha was hesitant about being in America, the land where a donut could be bigger than the size of someone's head, and where majority of experiences were rooted in fake niceties. Nothing about the foreign country felt like home to her, not that she knew much about such a feeling, but she knew it was best to get acclimated seeing as how she hadn't been given much of a choice. Either she give her life away to this organization, or she die at their hands.

Upon entering the SHIELD base her green eyes were tracking any and all movements as she trailed behind Agent Barton, the man she swears fealty to for sparing a wretch such as herself from a perceivably deserved death.

The agency is like nothing Natasha had ever seen before, majority of the agents here wore basic black suits with ties like you'd see on an individual working a 9-5, not so much at a government agency full of professional spies and assassins as she knew it to be.

Back in the Red Room the men employed by General Dreykov were almost always sporting full tactical suits like the cowards that they were to keep the little girls in line, and to surround the man for safety purposes. Here though, as Clint escorts her to the man in charge she doesn't see him with a team, no, it's simply a man in a trench coat, wearing an eye patch with a raven haired woman to his right.

"Romanoff.," the odd man with the eye patch nods at her stoically., "Barton here has decided to take a chance on you, don't make us here at Shield regret honoring that choice.," his hand reached for hers, she observed the gesture with hesitation, but eventually she met his attempt.

"Welcome to Shield Agent Romanoff, Hill here will escort you to your quarters, good luck."

—

2011

After nine years Natasha had yet to find the people of New York bearable, but she's learned to make due, and has acclimated very well as a good spy is trained to do, but moreover she had found she began to crave the perceived American dream. Over time she proved her expressed loyalty to the Director, as well as her mission partner turned family, and successfully crawled up ranks until she reached a Level 6.

With climbing ranks came more respect and then with that came new responsibilities. For years now she'd listened to Nick drone on about his determination to build a group of remarkable people to fight the battles that the bulk of your everyday people never could.

"Seriously Fury?," she scoffed while looking over the many files., "This guy is remarkable?"

"Stark is many things: a billionaire, arrogant, even a pompous asshole, but if you can look beyond the overly jelled back hair, and childish antics you'll see he's untouchably intelligent."

"Is that why he's letting himself die then?"

"Listen, Romanoff, I did not assign you this case for you to question my judgment.," he groaned, and ran his hand over his face., "You're here because I need eyes on the inside, and someone who can break him down until he accepts our help, and joins the good fight."

"So I'm your eye candy?," she scoffs, arms now folded across her chest as she glares at him., "Look, it's not ideal, but in part, yes you are."

"I don't appreciate such a deduction, I'm a skilled agent.," he nods., "Yeah, which is why you'll be gathering me intel, and helping the pitiful man who's too weak to help himself."

Natasha continued to glare, but Nick just moved passed it as he's grown used to her pushback over the years., "You're on your own in the field, but Coulson's on standby, and I've assigned Y/L/N to assist you when need be."

"The agency's hairdresser?"

"Now who's deducing?," you snarked from the door as you strolled into the room., "I also do your makeup, pick out your clothing, and keep your mind stimulated when you're bored."

Natasha glared at you for your interruption, but it was in vain, she always found your presence rather pleasant, even if she's only ever been able to experience you in passing thus far.

"I take it the two of you got it from here then?"

After you both nodded at the director he left the room smiling, and Maria smiled back., "Playing matchmaker now, are we Nick?"

—

Natasha's face never wavered when you made decisions for her, she was not one to push back outwardly if she didn't know you well, but you could detect the faux indifference in her eyes.

"Well, you seem to not be down for the bob, or the fringe look.," you called her bluff., "What about if I were to make you bald, super sexy.," she unexpectedly smirked at your teasing.

"Not sure Stark's into the bald type, have you even thought about that?," you grimaced., "Now Natasha, why would I ever care about a mans opinion? I don't usually think of men, let alone their opinions on a clients appearance."

Natasha's stoic expression returned as you spoke of her so professionally, she wanted to frown, but she knew it wasn't right since you were also here for a job. Now she's starting to understand the whole eye candy trope, as she's essentially procured you here as her very own.

"How about we darken your natural shade a little bit, and add extensions?" you held up the desired shade, and the glint in her eyes had you sold, even if all she did was shrug indifferently.

—

Natasha's body stiffened when your hands fell on her hips to turn her., "Something is off.," she frowned., "Gee, thanks Y/L/N.," you smirked, then made a 'aha' noise, spinning her back around before dropping your hold on her.

"Well?"

"Oh, sorry.," you smiled sheepishly., "Tuck the shirt into the pants, it'll be more form fitting."

"That was your big save?," she chuckled while doing exactly what you said, a smile on her face as she silently agreed with your judgment call.

"Don't mock me Romanoff, or I'll make sure to give your nose extra attention with my blush."

Natasha smirked cockily, a snide joke on the tip of her tongue, but instead of speaking, her breath was hitching when you straddled her lap, and nonchalantly began her makeup.

"Uh, Y/L/N.," you hummed, makeup sponge in hand as you prepared to apply her concealer., "Is there a reason you're sat in my lap?"

"There are no other places to sit in this tiny bathroom work space Romanoff, and there's no way I'm standing on my feet for over an hour.," your answer was playfully spoken, but serious.

"An hour?," you stifled a laugh at the sight of her scrunched features., "It's just make up."

"Do I question your fighting process?"

"I guess not.," she softly replied, her mind was a bit too focused on how you were so close she could feel your breaths to really push back, plus, she didn't really mind the proximity.

She became so distracted by you that she failed to hear the way your breath hitched after her arms unconsciously moved from dangling by her uncomfortably to wrapped around you.

"Done.," you swiped the stick over her lips, and stood up, much to Natasha's disappointment.

"How do I look?," she asked, and you turned to her with a playful smile., "Like a million bucks, you can say thank you now like a civilized person, or later after you wow the billionaire."

Natasha smirked, it excited her a bit to hear a tinge of jealousy in your tone, it told her this whole connection wasn't exactly one sided.

"Thank you krasivaya.," she left a soft kiss to your cheek, your knees nearly buckled, and you were praying for your sake she didn't see that., "Natasha, your lips weren't dry yet.," you chose to scold her to take the heat off of your bodies previous betrayal just before catching her off guard as you gripped her chin, and reapplied.

"Good luck."

"Why would I need luck when I apparently look like a million bucks?" she mused., "The money hungry fool will be under my spell in seconds." a playful wink was thrown your way as she left, but you were smart enough to know she was telling the truth, she had the kind of effortless beauty that could be used to topple regimes, and to your misfortune, your sensitive heart.

—

"What's your name lady?," Tony Stark, her op, immediately shouted at her as she entered, and she turned to him with a neutral expression., "Rushman. Natalie Rushman."

You giggled., "James Bond, really? You're such a cliche Romanoff," you could just feel the eye roll she was likely being forced to internalize all the while wondering why she agreed to your unhelpful proposal of wearing ear pieces.

Natasha wanted to smirk at your comment, because she was very much a cliche in this moment, but she had to remain in character as the "hot woman" from legal, and to get in Tony's good graces she agreed to a sparring match with his security guard, Happy Gilmore.

"You ever boxed before?"

"I have, yes."

"Oh boy, is he in for a treat.," you giggle, and Natasha smiled at the sound, and fortunately for her it seemed to fit in the moment anyways.

"What, like the Tae Bo? Booty Boot Camp? Crunch? Something like that?"

"Oh, no the fuck he didn't.," you verbalized aloud what her very expression did, you heard her clear her throat, and frowned, the woman you knew would've given him what for, but you knew she was forced to remain cordial here.

Tony called out to her, causing her to deviate her attention momentarily, and for Happy to believe that this was a teaching moment.

"Rule number one, never take your eye off your opponent."

"Rule number one, don't be a misogynistic douche.," you grumbled, and to your extreme delight you could hear Natasha grunt, and all other parties either shrieking or groaning.

"Atta girl."

Natasha rushed out shortly after the incident, and after dropping off the paperwork in her hand she made her way back to your hotel.

"I took the liberty of ordering room service.," you said as soon as she plopped beside you on the bed in her casual clothes., "I also used the company card to rent Moonraker for you."

Natasha slapped your arm lightly., "You're going to hold this against me for life, huh?"

"Ooh, I'm a for lifer?," she smiled softly at your tease, it was too soon to know really, but her heart fluttered at the idea of a forever with you.

"Who else will do my hair and makeup? Me?" she scoffs playfully. "I'm too high ranked to be expected to do such mundane, easy things."

"For that cruel dig I am eating the bonus chocolate covered strawberry!" you grumbled, she cackled as she swiped it from the tray and was met with your glare. "No, I don't think so."

Instead of chasing her down you laid out like a starfish on the mattress. "I heard the couch is comfortable, I hope you find that true," she gasped at your insinuation, then if only to show off she lifted you effortlessly, laid down beside you, and pressed play. "I'm sorry Y/L/N."

"I won't hold it against you Rushman," you rolled to your side, then faced the screen just the same. "Good, I kinda need you on my side."

——

The following day you were expected to make her look fancy, so you set her up in a red dress, and did a simple makeup look. "Have fun."

"Oh my, did I forget to tell you that you're coming with me," she looked at you innocently, but the glint in her eye screamed of mischief.

Your voice expectedly cracked, "What?"

"Pepper said I could bring a plus one, and Fury said I could bring you, so go get ready toots."

Natasha waited patiently on the edge of your shared bed on her phone, hardly listening as you grumbled from behind the closed bathroom door. "This is so uncool, I didn't bring anything fancy to wear," you peaked your sopping wet head out to pout at her in the hopes that you'd be spared going, but she held up a garment bag while smirking tauntingly, "Hurry up now malysh, we can't be late."

—

Natasha's hand settled over your hip as the two of you entered the venue together, you were in a black suit with a red dress shirt to match her dress, you looked like a couple, and the thought of the possibility made your skin burn, and it had your heart skipping with a doomed hope.

"Oh, who's this beauty?" Tony grasped your hand without asking, pulling it to his lips, and you grimaced as he pressed them to your hand. Natasha saw the disgusted look on your face, and instantly spoke. "This is Zoe Rushman."

"So beauty runs in the family then?" she shook her head, and pulled you even closer to her side. "No, it's a bit premature on the name, but she's my fiancé, and if the laws pass in our favor we'll be tying the knot next Spring."

Tony nodded, then took his leave to God knows where, and to be clear you surely didn't care.

"We're engaged?" Natasha spun you in front of her and leaned into your ear. "Yes, I will not subject you to Tony's flirting if I can avoid it."

"I thought you were meant to entice him."

"Not anymore, I already secured my spot, so really this is mutually beneficial." she mused, and you chuckled. "So I'm your arm candy?"

"Precisely," she kissed the corner of your lips, it felt real, but you reasoned it was for the sake of your story, so you shoved the feelings down.

"Natalie?!" you both turned to see a distraught blonde, you peered up at the small screen she was gawking at, you saw Tony racing in a car, then you saw a man with electricity tentacles also on the track. "Well that can't be good."

Natasha tended to a frantic Pepper, then she escorted you out of the venue. "Take her to the hotel," she instructed a shield agent, and you realized he must've already been on standby.

"Be careful Nat." She smirked. "I always am."

—

After working tirelessly to save Tony's image, she returned to the hotel at ten at night in desperate need of a shower, and some sleep. When she entered your shared space it was dark, and she made quiet work of tending to her needs before slipping in bed besides you.

"You're back.," you slurred, one eye flying open to confirm it was indeed the redhead., "I am."

"Did you get your dinner?"

Natasha smiled appreciatively, "I ate already, Pepper ordered us takeout, but thank you honey, I put it in the fridge for tomorrow."

You hummed, too tired to really respond, and Natasha watched you slowly fall back to sleep with a smile of pure adoration. A gasp left her lips only moments later though, her smile never dissipated, it morphed into a shocked one as you'd unconsciously scooted across the mattress and threw an arm around her waist.

"Good grief, you're going to kill me," she slid her arm underneath your neck, and allowed her other to lay over your body protectively., "And I'd die happy if you did," she whispered before allowing the unfamiliar comfort you brought her to help her fall asleep with ease.

A full nights rest was something incredibly foreign to her, but it consumed her tonight.

——

Natasha just left you downstairs, even with the last event ending in chaos she wanted you at this party with her, but first she had to assist Stark as was her job, "Do you know which watch you'd like to wear tonight Mr. Stark?"

"I'll give them a look," he sighed while fixing his shirt. "I should cancel the party, huh?"

"Probably," she turned to look at him, and brought him over a martini she'd prepared.

"Yeah, because it's uh—," he paused, and she promptly finished his thought, "Ill timed."

"Sends the wrong message."

"Inappropriate," Nat confirms with a sly smirk., "Is that dirty enough for you?"

He sipped it, then immediately deflected back to the watches, and you grimaced at the way she flirted so easily, a little reminder that this was all a ruse, and she wasn't yours to have.

Natasha sat besides him, not because she was interested in the man, but because she wanted to have a closer look at his declining state as collecting intel was part of her overall mission.

"It's hard to get a read on you, where are you from?" Tony asked while she applied some concealer to his marred up face. "Legal."

You snorted, and the redhead heard it, and could picture your eyes rolling right now.

"Can I ask you a question, hypothetically?" Natasha only stared at him, but he went for it anyways. "It's a bit odd, but if this was your last birthday party you were ever gonna have, how would you celebrate it?"

"I'd do whatever I wanted to do, with whoever I wanted to do it with," she followed her answer up with the clicking of her heels, but stopped as he asked a follow up question. "Like Zoe?"

"Precisely," she hoped you could hear the truth in her tone, but if you didn't she'd find a way to make it clear to you after this whole mission.

Before you could wipe away the hopeful smile Natasha was at your side, slipping your near empty glass from your hand to down it all. "Drinking on the job Natalie?" she smirked over your glass, "Have you met my boss?"

Natasha beamed as you giggled, because not only does the sound illicit a warmth within her, but she knew you understood that she meant Director Fury just as much as she did Tony.

With an elegance in her movements the redhead settled your glass down, and brought you onto the dance floor as a slow song played. There was a comfortability that you were shocked to find yourself feeling with her in such a short time frame. Natasha was always an enigma back at Shield headquarters, but now, out in the field she was easier to read.

Just like you she craved exhilaration, you found it out in the wilderness on off days, and in the salon mixing up products to transform people into whatever they wanted to become. Natasha found it on stealthy missions, where she was able to kick peoples asses, and make the world a safer place for all that inhabit it.

There was still an air of mystery to her, which you expect being so new to this undefined dynamic with her. You didn't expect all her walls to drop at once, but the fact that any have dropped tells you that she trusts you enough.

Before you could make an honest move, like kissing her as you dreamed, an actual wall fell.

Natasha quickly pulled your face to her chest, shielding you from the glass, and as soon as Rhodey said to get out, she was pulling you both to another room, and softly cupping your cheeks, "We need to get you out of here."

"I don't break that easily Nata-."

"Natalie!" you grimaced at the shrill voice of the angry blonde, and Nat softly groaned before turning to her cordially, "Miss Potts."

Before she could say much to Nat about her speculations, she was dragged away by Happy, and you were much the same by Natasha.

"I think I'm your bad luck charm," you mused from the passenger seat, and Natasha softly sighed as she parked the car, "No, I actually think you're much to the opposite Y/N."

The both of you entered the hotel, taking turns slipping out of your dresses, and when you sat down on the bed Natasha's eyes widened., "You're hurt?" you shrugged. "Occupational hazard," you turned to face her, heart melting at the show of genuine concern on her face, but the happy faded fast when her eyes hardened.

"No, you're the all around stylist, not an agent."

"I'm more than that," your voice was small, and she immediately regretted her choice of words. "I-I know, but you still had no business being out in the field, and it's my fault you were."

"I'm okay Nat, it's only a scratch, and if it were to have been more I have combat training."

The redhead left the room, and your shoulders deflated, but then she came back with a couple wine coolers, a soft smile and a first aid kit.

"Let's get you all patched up soldier."

—

Natasha frowned as you entered the Stark expo hand in hand, "I don't have a good feeling about this," she groaned, and you squeezed her hand. "Nat, we already committed to this whole fiancés facade, so until we're through with the mission here I'm coming along."

"I could've told Pepper you're sick."

"Who's sick?"

"I thought I had a cold, but turns out it's just allergies," you answered, and held your hand out for her to shake as you'd yet to introduce yourself yet even after seeing each other.

"Zoe right?," you nodded convincingly, "It's lovely to finally meet you, Natalie here speaks of you so fondly, I'm almost kinda jealous."

"Aww, baby, you talk to your boss about me?" Natasha's face tinted a light shade of pink at the painful, exposing moment, and you did all that you could to stifle your teasing laughter. "You're just a total sweetheart," you mused and followed your teasing words with a gentle kiss to the already blushing woman's cheek.

"Well, shall we get seated?" Natasha managed to pull it together enough to brush right passed the moment, and escort Pepper to her seat.

It doesn't take long after the exchange for shit to hit the fan, and after Natasha roughed up Tony's business rival the two of you were in a car with Happy on the way to save the day.

"When we arrive I need you to watch the perimeter, I'm gonna enter the facility and take down the target," Natasha instructs, and you go to glare at her but are shockingly met with her undressing, and then you felt the car swerving.

"Watch the road," you growled at the man in the drivers seat, then you lifted your suit jacket up to shield Natasha as she changed out of the black dress and into her body defining catsuit.

Natasha softly smiled, an intense wave of emotion filled her as you remained respectful, and didn't intentionally ogle her like she's used to, but a secret part of her wished for you to. However, she has no time to dwell on it as the car comes to a stop outside Hammer's base.

"Stay in the car," Nat barked at both of you.

"I'm not staying in the car."

"Dude. You should really listen to her," you mused, but in direct contrast you followed her into the building, and Happy trailed behind.

"Y/N what are you doing?" she asks in a huff while knocking two guys out at once. "You can't be in here, I don't want you getting hurt."

You rush passed her with an eye roll, taking out a man who was fast approaching with a punch to his throat, then another with your lipstick that she now knows is a high voltage taser.

"I was going to retouch my lips with that," she gasps with a lopsided smile directed at you.

"Good thing you didn't you little thief.," you tease back as you both pass the last remaining guy, and she just uses her pepper spray on him.

Natasha is quick to help Tony with the drones, then while they fight she shifts her attention over to you, "You trained with who exactly?"

"Hill."

Natasha nodded, "Makes sense then."

Her arms that were folded over her chest move to around your waist., "Thanks for the help," you hug her back, and she basically melts into you., "Anytime Nat, I'll do your hair, makeup, I'll dress you up, whatever you want, really."

"How about you undress me?” she teased, using a deep sultry tone on you, you shoved her away playfully, and she cackled while following you out of the room. "Y/L/N, come back!"

"Thank God you girls are okay," Happy shouts as the both of you approach unscathed, he himself in a state of disarray, and you scoff. “It's not us you should be worried about."

He glares at you, then shifts his attention to the redhead approaching from behind you. "Hey, Natalie, what you did here was impressive,” he gestures to the pile of bodies with a shy smile.

"Would you be interested in getting dinner?"

Natasha watched as your jaw and fists clenched in unison, and it inspired her to make a move. Her callous hand was gentle as it found yours, she unfurled your fingers, then slipped hers between yours. "No thanks, I'm spoken for."

A wide smile befell your face as she spoke, and in a swift switch of events it was you making a move, your hand dropped hers to grab her by the waist, and as you spun her to face you the other slid behind her neck. "Yeah, she is."

Happy cleared his throat before scurrying off, the tension in the room thick at the glare you sent his way right before you pulled Natasha into you for a heady kiss. A soft hmph left you when she spun you around and into a wall.

Natasha pulled away from you at the sound of another's pained groan, she smirked at the sight of you so flustered; blissfully unaware, and as beautiful as the first time she saw you.

"We should get out of here krasivaya," Nat grabbed your hand again, squeezing it softly to better get your attention. "Lead the way Nat.," you smiled dreamily, she pulled you along, and guided you into the back of an awaiting car.

—

Fury shook your hand, then sent you off with a wink that you failed to understand as you were finally moving to leave Shields headquarters.

"Wait!” Natasha took off after you, and her hand settled on your shoulder. "Would you like to get coffee with me sometime?” you smiled at the redhead as you turned to face her properly, she was uncharacteristically nervous, and that made you feel extra confident. "I just made out with you over many unconscious men, and now you're nervous to talk to me—how adorable."

Natasha's mouth opened, but then it closed as she tried to remember how to formulate actual words. "I-I'm not adorable Y/N/N, you are."

"You're even more adorable now that you've said that," you snickered, then reached out to softly move a stray hair behind her ear. "I'd love to get coffee with you Natasha, feel free to pick me up tomorrow morning before work."

"I don't have your address.," she called out as you already started walking off again, and you didn't even turn around as you shouted., "We both know that's not true Agent Romanoff."

2012

You weren't a super spy yourself, but you didn't need to be to know the loud ding of your locked doors opening was because of a certain beauty.

"Natasha, I can get my own breakfast you know," you set the broom stick against the counter, and met her at the desk in your office. "Yeah, you can, but you shouldn't have to."

You shook your head with a fond smile, then accepted the warm beverage and croissant. "Thank you baby," you murmured over a bite of the buttery goodness, then you approached the pouting redhead as she reached for you.

"Are you excited to open the shop tomorrow detka?" she quickly pulled you into her warm embrace, and you nuzzled into her, knowing that she craved these reassuring affections. "Mostly," you admitted. "I'm kinda nervous."

"Why would you be nervous?"

"What if I open my doors and the sky falls?"

"Y/N, what's really going on, hm?" she softly swayed you, and placed a kiss to your forehead.

"What if I am not good enough to succeed?"

"Detka, now that's just ridiculous," your lover sighs softly as she works to pull you closer.

"You're plenty good enough, there's nobody else I'd ever let touch my hair," she confessed, "Nick knew that by the way, when he played matchmaker, and I went along of course because you were the woman of my dreams, and how else would I have gotten that close."

"Nat," she cut you off with a dizzying kiss, it was so intense that she was able to walk you back into your chair. "I'm dead serious detka."

"You're being honest?" she nodded, and you smiled widely. "I can't believe I was your first."

Natasha smirked, her dimple prominent as she absorbed your words, there were areas of truth to them, yes, you were her first hair stylist, but moreover, you were her first, and only love.

"Up until that mission I'd handled all of my own disguises, and yes, even as a level 6 agent I was able to work my own makeup brushes."

Your belly laughter filled the room, and your lover smiled as soon as it left you, if she were to only be made to hear your joy for the rest of her life she knows she'd die a happy woman.

"Hey, I have an idea," Natasha nudged your shoulder, then her hand gripped yours to pull you up to your feet without any explanation. Natasha settled herself down in one of your leather chairs with a lopsided grin as she met your gaze through the mirror and ran a hand through her unruly maine, "Have a ball."

It honestly surprised you how willing she was to be your guinea pig, her appearance really did mean a lot to her, but she seemingly trusted you enough to give you free reign with it.

Her current hair was a little passed shoulder length, and quite frankly overdue for a trim, but what you had in mind went beyond that.

Natasha followed your every instruction, and she did so happily, her sighs of gratitude proof that the way you scratched at her scalp as you washed and conditioned her hair was pleasing.

After you settled her down in the salon chair you practiced your customer service on her, "Ma'am, would you," she cut you off with a hand to the face. "Ma'am? Detka please..."

"Oh, my apologies, Miss picture perfect image of youth, would you care for a refreshment?"

Natasha smirked, "Much better, yes please."

Natasha graciously accepted the can of soda by pulling you in for an appreciative kiss, "Now don't you be letting the customers do that too."

You gasped, "Shit baby, do you think I should take off my 'Please kiss your stylist' apron?" She looked up at you unamused, her eyes were briefly casted down at your apron to ensure you were joking, and when she discovered you were she settled into the chair. "Chop, chop."

A roll of your eyes followed her play on words, you complied of course, but to make it more fun you spun her to face away from the mirror.

After you did the sizable chop you began to add layers to give it more volume, then you used your specialty scissors to give the ends texture. It took you about an hour to get her hair where you wanted, and from the back it looked great.

A long breath still left you when your hands no longer had something to manipulate, you were honestly nervous because it was far shorter than when she had walked in. Natasha had the fortune of being so beautiful that nothing could change that, but an outward opinion on her appearance didn't matter here, only hers did.

"Detka, you're making me nervous," she joked, and after a tense moment of silence she sighed, "I'm going to love it, I already feel tons lighter."

When you still refrained from spinning her around she stood from her seat, leaving you unable to face her reaction as she turned around. You still managed to do it though as you shut your eyes tightly to avoid the potential of a disappointed, and likely frowning Nat.

"It's perfect," she gasped, her hands were gentle as they moved you over a smidge so that she could see better. "Honey, open your eyes, and look at the smoke show that is on display," she shook your body like it was a limp noodle by her grip on your shoulders to emphasize the joy you should feel, and it actually paid off.

"Wow," you were genuinely elated as you opened your eyes, what you envisioned was so beautifully brought to life right before you. You didn't hesitate to run your hand through the much shorter red locks, appreciating the way that her natural wave showed through more prominently at this length. "You're beautiful."

Natasha surged forward, capturing your lips with hers, something she always did when she felt overwhelmed by you complimenting her. There was just something different about the way you said beautiful, your tone was always soft, and your eyes were even softer, as if you were seeing her for more than her physicality.

Which you were...

Just as you moved to deepen the affection, your tongue slowly sliding over hers, you were rudely interrupted by Natasha's obnoxious pager, and corresponding ringing of her cell. When combined that always meant she had to go, because Fury needed her for a mission.

"Absolutely not," she groaned, "What is it?"

"Agent Romanoff, always such a pleasure."

"Nick, I am unavailable, Y/N's opening day is tomorrow, can't you send someone else?"

"Unfortunately not Romanoff, it's connected to your mission in limbo, and if you don't seize the moment now you'll likely miss it entirely."

Natasha hung up on the director, it was her angered way of relenting on her stance, even if it was actually breaking her heart to say it.

"It's okay Natasha, it's just a salon opening."

"No, don't do that," she turned to face you, cupping your cheeks in her calloused hands. "You're so special Y/N/N, and the way you transform looks is amazing, it's life changing."

"Yeah, and the way you save the world is too," you leaned in to kiss her again, and the both of you made sure to savor the fleeting moment.

"I'll be back in time for a celebratory dinner."

"I'll be looking forward to it," you pressed your lips to hers for a chaste kiss. "Give them hell."

Natasha smirked against you, "I always do."

——

The world was a crazy place really, the general populous moves around in a state of blissful ignorance while atrocities happen under their noses. Rumors fly, but without any evidence they act as if the evil only exists in the stories. It's only in moments like now that they are able to get a glimpse through the cracks, and see that fables of other worlds are based in reality. 

Natasha stared up at the gigantic black hole in the sky in a disgusted sort of awe, it was a sight to marvel at—sure, but she wonders more how she got here in a matter of twenty four hours.

Yesterday morning she was being pampered by you, and by that evening she was tied to a chair with men who actually thought they had the upper hand on her, the notorious Black Widow.

Then after a panicked call from Coulson over Clint's well being she was exchanging her idiot Russian henchmen out for a ship full of equally as idiotic American men, with an aloof God in tow who couldn't set their egos aside long enough to see the bigger picture until it had to be blown up in front of their once smug faces.

After fighting her best friend, being chased by the monstrosity that is The Hulk, and losing Coulson, a dear friend of the redheads, she was already beyond exhausted, but rest was nary an option with aliens flying through a portal.

If they didn't pull it together soon the entire state of New York would likely meet the same fate as many other peculiar cities in the past.

Natasha wouldn't be letting that happen though, no matter what she would never let anything happen to you. Which is why she was first to offer finding out how to close the portal, effectively neutralizing the core threat here.

"Natasha, you seem distracted," the captain observed, and Natasha sighed in frustration. "My girlfriend," she paused as the man out of time dropped his shield out of shock. "Go on."

"Today was the day her shop was supposed to open, and I'm fucking terrified that she was in it as the fight broke out," she struggled to hold back her tears, "She didn't answer her phone, and I had no time to check on her." At the odd show of emotions from the reclusive spy Steve realized he needed to offer his support here.

"Listen, you make it to the top as planned, and I promise to go collect," he paused, and she smiled at just the thought of you. "Y/N."

"Please, don't let anything happen to her." he nodded, and with that she was off in the sky, chasing down the alien scum while the super soldier sprinted towards your quaint shop.

The bell rung out, and you jumped onto the intruder's back in an instant, ready to fight, but then you saw the patriotic get up, and knew he was not the enemy in this current predicament.

"Y/N?"

You slowly fell from his back, then rounded the man to face him. "Depends, what's it to you?"

"Natasha sent me after you," he relayed, and you rolled your eyes. "That woman, I swear, it's like she forgets I'm trained for this shit."

"You're an agent?" you shrugged. "Something more in between trained agent and stylist."

"I saw her tough resolve crumbling only a few minutes ago," he admits. "I honestly haven't known her more than a few hours, but she doesn't strike me as the type to break easily."

"She isn't," you whisper, then meet the man with a frown. "Take me to safety I guess."

He escorts you out, and it's when an alien runs by with its razor sharp talons ready to strike that he realizes you were safer indoors. "Uh," he turns you back around, then puts you in your office, using your bookshelf he blocks the window, then from outside your door he moves another shelf full of products in front of it.

"We'll come collect you shortly, Natasha is currently working on closing the blackhole."

"Okay!" you shout back amusedly, then you pull up Scandal on your laptop, and hope Nat forgives you for watching the next episode without her on account of emotional distress.

——

Natasha took the elevator down Stark's ginormous tower, then she ran to your shop without taking a moment to catch her breath after she had successfully closed the portal. Once she arrived she barged through the doors only to groan at her newfound obstacle.

"Are you watching Scandal without me?" she grunted through the blocked door as she heard the familiar start up tune while she was trying to use her remaining strength to move the hefty, fully stocked set of shelves. Once she's successful she barges in with a deep scowl.

"The sky was falling..." you shut your laptop guiltily, then slowly made your away around your desk to pull the dirtied woman into you.

"Yeah, it certainly was," she melted into you, honestly she was too tired to further scold you over something so mundane, especially after she already spent the entire day bickering with egotistical men, then as if it was a cherry atop of a shit sundae, she had to fight ugly aliens.

"Sit down love, I'm gonna clean you up."

"Detka," you hummed while maneuvering around the shop to collect your hair products and first aid kit. "Would you like to meet the team today? We're going to get Shawarma."

"Who's really left to meet?" you teased, and she lowered her voice to imitate the men, "Bruce, the Hulk, and Thor, the God of Thunder."

"I'd love to go with you Nat, thank you," you lightly kissed her split lips. "Just maybe after I rinse your hair and disinfect these cuts."

"Fair enough."

—

Natasha was fatigued beyond recognition, so you had her hop onto your back, she protested softly, but the second her feet left the ground you felt her sigh against your back. "Comfy?"

The redhead nodded, then to further prove your suspicions she yawned, "It's just up the street detka, they're probably already eating."

Natasha rested as best she could on your trek to the family owned restaurant that managed to remain unscathed unlike the neighboring stores surrounding it that laid in ruins. Once you got to the door though she dropped from your back, then like the gentlewoman she was she opened the door for you, and escorted you to the table where she took her rightful seat.

There wasn't another open for you since they weren't expecting a plus one, but that didn't matter much, because to make the message clear to the unknowing men gawking at the both of you, Nat pulled you into her lap and kissed you oh so tenderly. Steve blushed at the unfamiliar sight, Tony smirked, and Clint was expectedly unbothered as he stuffed his face.

Thor too seemed unbothered as he asked for someone to pass him the 'sauce that burns his tongue in ways he enjoys.' Bruce, the reserved one looked a bit taken aback, and almost hurt if you cared to look at him, but he shook off his unfair jealousy, then politely shook your hand.

"Lovely to see you again Zoe."

"Zoe?" Steve looked between the three of you, and you and your lover knowingly chuckled. "Tony, and everyone else I guess, this is Y/N, my girlfriend of a years time, and that's all I will be disclosing, so avert your eyes and eat."

Tony didn't care about her disinterest, he was too busy having an epiphany, and so he gasped obnoxiously loudly, "You two got together because of me? Wow! You're both welcome."

—

"Your little team of superheroes seemed," you paused to mull it over while ripping the sheet back, slipping under the cool fabric, and opening your arms wide for the cuddle fiend that was your girlfriend to crawl right on into.

"Insufferable? Pig headed? Inept besides Clint, and even then I might be being too nice?"

Natasha smiled against your neck as you tried to temper your exhausted cackle. "I was going to say potentially incorrigible, but for the sake of mankind's survival I hope they're not."

"Yeah, me too, because as of right now it's an overload on testosterone, and I think if history has taught us anything, it's that that's usually the greatest indicator for eventual disaster"

You snorted at your lovers tired grumbling, "Yeah, but with you there to lead, it'll be fine."

"I sure hope so," she yawned, "Goodnight Y/N, I love you." Your body tensed, but when you looked into her murky eyes you could see that the exhaustion brought it on, but it was the truth nonetheless. "I love you too Natasha."

A smile wider than the state of Texas spread against your skin, followed by a smattering of tired, soft kisses as she nuzzled further into you., "YA sobirayus' khranit' tebya vechno."

(I'm going to keep you forever.)

"What was that?"

"You're a dead woman walking for watching Scandal without me, you better sleep with one eye open," she nipped your skin teasingly and you slapped her butt warningly. "Mhm, sure..."

As you both slipped away into a state of bliss Natasha couldn't fathom how she got so lucky to have found you, and you pondered learning Russian, because you loved her enough to.

2014

"Natasha, sit still," you commanded, the ability to straighten her hair as she asked of you was almost nonexistent with the way she moved.

"I'm sorry detka, I-I," she paused, her thoughts were jumbled with all the anxiety she's been feeling since her mission with Steve yesterday.

"What is it?" you settled the straightener down, then spun her around to face you, and in the cutest way possible she reached for you then pulled you into her lap so she could bury her face in your chest. "My favorite stress balls."

"Natasha," you warned, but the bite in your tone was nonexistent, and you found yourself laughing lightly along with her. "What? The world is an absolute garbage fire, but when I'm here, with my face in your breasts it's alright."

"I can't stand you," you groaned, and she shifted to look at you with a quirked brow., "Good thing you're sitting down then, huh?"

"Natasha, I swear to God!" her face smushed back into your breasts, but this time she was blowing raspberries, and you were aghast, “You’re a fucking pervert,” she laughed wildly as the words left you in a near shriek.

“I’m a pervert for only you,“ she pecked your lips, a sigh of relief brushing across your face as she feels her anxieties melting away so easily when she’s touching you—you’re her peace.

The sound of her pager going off like crazy ruined the whole vibe, “What now? Was me commandeering an entire ship not enough?”

Natasha’s face fell though as she read the tiny script: ‘Fury’s been compromised—hurry.’

—

The drive to the hospital was fast, you held on to the handle tightly as she swerved between lanes. Even in her frenzied state she settled a hand over your thigh to offer comfort, and in the moment when she had nothing but time to think she curses herself for letting you come.

If someone is after Fury, and they see her in the hospital she’s going to be a follow up target, and by bringing you she’s made you one too.

With your hand in hers you both entered the hospital, Maria and Steve were there to greet you both, and as they brought you to a window you saw the elder man in a state of disarray. Then before any words could be muttered his heart monitor went haywire, then he flatlined.

Natasha cried into your shoulder for all of two seconds before she was pulling it together. Her jaw clenched at the thought of leaving you, but she had no choice, so she kissed the corner of your lips, “I have to go,” Natasha held her hand up when you tried to follow her, “I’m okay,” she tossed Maria the keys, then soon disappeared.

You went to chase your girlfriend down but Maria stopped you, “Come with me, Nat’s not going to stop until she has answers, and you’re not safe if you go home since you came here.”

“Oh,” you nodded, then followed her instead.

—

Natasha entered the facility you were being held at with a deep scowl on her face, it didn’t exactly melt away at the sight of you, but it definitely lessened when you embraced her. Maria’s hold on her was nonexistent now as you took over escorting her to a chair for the doctor. Her subtle wince caused you to let go, and you made quick work of her jacket so you could see what happened, and you gasped.

The doctors rushed you aside, then fixed her up remarkably fast, and once they moved you tried to lean in for a kiss, but Natasha evaded your affection with ease, it was so subtle the way she leaned her forehead to yours, but you still felt the sting of her rejecting affection. It terrified you to think that after everything you have overcome together that she’d retreat now.

“I’m okay detka, I’ve experienced worse,” she tried to play down the wound, her voice wasn’t much above a whisper as she tried to keep the moment specifically between the two of you, but she didn’t succeed because you were on your feet, and slamming a fist into Steve.

“How could you let this happen to her?” You glared at the man, but you could see the guilt on his face ran deeper than her being wounded, “Why do you look so guilty Steve? What is it?”

Natasha glared at the super soldier, she told him that what happened on the escalator was self preservation, and that she’d tell you, but he was about to blurt it out, and humiliate you.

“Natasha kissed me,” he squeaked, blue eyes widening as he saw the murderous redhead jump to her feet, “I-It was only—,” you shook your head, a sign that the man took as your disinterest in his blubbering explanations.

Instead you turned to look at Natasha, who was quick to soften her gaze as your eyes locked, a tense silence befell the room because no one knew what was about to happen. Natasha did though, she knew you were silently assessing, and when you smiled softly at her she relaxed.

“I’m sorry you had to do that my beloved,” you coo, then entered into her good arms embrace, “It must’ve been a hardship for you to kiss a man seeing as how you’re not into them.”

Maria smirked, but then upon seeing Fury’s expression she cleared her throat, and began to debrief the room about Hydra’s infiltration. You sat in Nat’s lap while they discussed the miracle of Fury’s survival, and you hardly paid attention, your eyes transfixed on Nat instead.

Which is why when Fury muttered, “Can't kill you if you're already dead. Besides, I wasn't sure who to trust.” You watched as Natasha’s eyes glazed over, and that had you seeing red.

“She took a bullet trying to avenge you, and you don’t know who you can trust?” You made your way over to the man, and slapped him across the face, and Nat tried to pull you away, “Detka, calm down.” But it was of no use.

“No? Absolutely not,” you brushed her off, then turned to point a finger at everyone present, “You all disgust me with how you treat her. Like Natasha is just an expendable asset, but she isn’t, she has a family to come home to and I’d appreciate it if she came back to us alive.”

The room was silent besides everyone’s varying breaths, yours being the loudest as you were feeling rather irate by the audacity in the room. Natasha took tentative steps, her hand turning you by your shoulder so she could look at you.

“I promise I’ll return to you tonight, and I’ll have Maria here take you back home so you’re comfy. She’ll stay with you until I get there,” you pouted, and she desperately wanted to kiss it away, but she simply refused to until her mouth was cleaned of Steve’s existence.

“What do you want for dinner?” Natasha laughed at your sweet question, “You pick.”

You nodded, then placed a kiss to her cheek before shifting to face the others, “Keep her safe, or I swear to God you will all regret it.”

—

Natasha entered your house in a stagger, her heart was nervous for a whole great deal of things, most importantly being you leaving.

“Welcome home Romanoff, I’ll be going.”

“Thanks Maria,” she squeezed the redhead’s shoulder, then yelled her goodbye to you.

This prompted you to race into the living room to see Natasha stood there in one piece, but her eyes spoke of a separate form of shattering. When she fell to her knees a second later you were right by her with no regard to your knees.

“Natasha, what is it?”

“Please don’t leave me,” she sobbed, “I can’t do this without you, I won’t survive—I won’t!”

“Hey, hey,” you settled on your butt then yanked her trembling form into you, “I’m not going anywhere, where is this coming from?”

“I had to air out all of Shield’s dirty laundry,” she started, her hand shaking as you clasped yours over it and you sent her a reassuring smile, “That included all the darkest parts about my past, once you see it you’ll leave.”

“Natasha, your past doesn’t define you, no one is free of skeletons in their closet, and yours were never yours to bare the reprimand for,” you cupped her cheek, and brought her gaze back to yours, “I know your heart Natasha, and whatever those files say doesn’t change that.”

“Matter of fact, they don’t matter, and I won’t even be reading them,” you announced, and her tears finally spilled over, “Thank you…”

“Don’t thank me Nat, you deserve to tell me whatever you want, when you’re ready, not when the world forces you to.”

“I love you Y/N,” she jolted up and caught your lips in a kiss, her mouth tasted of mint, and you smiled at the thought of her probably having brushed her teeth in some drug store just so she could kiss you when she got home.

“I love you too Natasha, you’re stuck with me.”

She smiled against your lips, “Really?” and when you nodded she smiled even wider.

“Marry me then,” she blurted the hopeful words against your lips, then she pulled back with pinched brows as she awaited an answer.

“Seriously?” she nodded, and watched how your eyes now filed with tears, “Of course.”

Natasha kissed you even harder this time, a symbolic sealing of the deal she reasoned.

“Is that borscht I smell?” you nodded with a breathless sigh to follow, and she smiled in pure adoration, “Might as well marry you now, my pretty little housewife in the making.”

“Do it,” you challenged, and she met that with a bruising kiss to which she instantly deepened, her silent promise that she’d be keeping you here until the ready borscht likely went cold.

2016

Natasha woke up next to you this morning, and for a few moments everything just felt right. Then she was called into work only to be met with a scraggly old man in a suit, who laid out a packet thicker than her arms all in the name of containing the Avengers. Tony's argument felt right, it seemed the only option that kept the team safe, but more importantly all together.

Steve didn't agree though, and in a few short hours he became a wanted man, alongside his old pal Bucky, his new pal Sam, her best friend Clint, a shrinking man she'd never met named Scott, and the rightfully terrified witch, Wanda.

Nothing felt right anymore, and as the lot of them fought against one another she knew it wasn't going to end well. Her plans to marry you this Fall would have to wait as she attacked TChalla, and allowed Steve and Bucky to flee.

In less than an hour she was back at the compound collecting her arsenal of weapons, and ignoring Tony's venomous words only spat to hurt her as she rushed off to be on the run.

This life wasn't new to her, being on the run was second nature for the reformed assassin, but now, at this stage of her life it was cruel. There was no easy way to tell you, the love of her life, that she had to leave, but as she raced up the stairs to your shared bedroom she found you sat on the edge of the bed in a fit of tears.

You knew...

"Malysh." you lunged into her open arms, sending the both of you tumbling into the carpeted floor where she held you very tightly. "It'll be okay, I promise, I'll find my way back."

"Back?," you croaked, head shaking rapidly as you refused to accept this., "I'm coming with."

"Not this time Agent.," you sobbed even harder as she cupped the back of your head while sitting you both back up so she could look into your eyes, even if the sight broke her in two., "Liho, and Tabby need you moya lyubov'."

"I need you," your voice cracked, and the tears she managed to keep at bay began to stain her cheeks at the dire situation at hand., "I know detka, I need you just as much as I do oxygen."

"Please, let me come with," you pleaded, hands clinging to her jacket in desperation, and you pulled her in for an equally as desperate kiss.

"This is going to test us," she panted after she managed to pull away from the liplock, her usual sparkling green eyes were dull as she looked into yours now. "But please, don't tell me that if I leave that you won't be here when I get back, because I promise you I'll be back."

"Be careful," you relent, and lean in to kiss her far more gently now, her hands that were sat on your hips gripped you tighter, she needed to feel you, because there was no telling when she would have an opportunity to do so again.

"I always am," she whispered, a soft smile pulling her at lips as she looked into your eyes. "My love for you is all the inspiration I need to make it back to you in one piece," she pecked your lips, then lifted both of you to stand.

"I love you Natasha Romanoff," she brought your entwined hands up to her lips where she pecked each knuckle until she reached your pitifully bare ring finger, where her soft lips lingered., "And I you, Y/N Romanoff."

The sound of sirens in the distance put a rush on your goodbye. "Until we meet again," you smiled sadly as she hopped onto her bike with two ill prepared duffles. "Until then my love."

2018

"Natasha, where are you going?" she peered over to Steve with a sad smile. "I'll be back, I just need to see someone first," and before anyone could protest she was leaving the room.

She was still on the run, so she had to be cautious about how she went about her route. Ross wouldn't have trouble getting her if she walked right into your establishment, and she would never put you in such a position. So she texted you from a burner phone instead, and that's how you found yourself in a quaint diner.

"Natasha, please tell me you didn't," your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as the now blonde approached you with a mischievous grin. "What, you don't like the new hair?"

"I-I," you were thrown, because of course you did, she could pull anything off, but you also knew her resources were limited, so this was likely a very cheap dye job and it made you sad for all the progress you made keeping her hair healthy over the years. "You're beautiful Nat."

"It'll grow back out my love, and then I'll leave it for only you to handle, I promise."

"So I can go with you on the run this time?"

Natasha shook her head, and pulled you in for a hug that nearly crippled her after so long without your body flush to hers. "I'd never let you do that, you're undeserving of such a life."

"All I want is you Natasha, I don't care." she smiled sadly, "I know, but it doesn't matter, because there's no more being on the run."

"Really?" she nodded with a bright smile. "After we win, I'll be back for good malysh."

"Good, I can't stand another two years Nat."

"You won't have to," she smiled as you leaned into her, and she unexpectedly sobbed as you pressed your lips to hers, "I missed you Y/N."

"I missed you too Natty.," you reached up to wipe away her tears, then pecked her lips once more knowing she had to go, "I'll be waiting."

—

They lost, half of everyone turned to dust, and you weren't answering your fucking phone.

You always answered your phone.

No matter what.

Natasha felt waves of pure panic, the contents of her stomach were emptied on the jet, and even though her limbs ached she ran to you.

She had to get to you, there was nothing else she needed more right now than your love.

The doors of your shop flew open, causing her to cough as clouds of dust swirled at the action.

"No...," She fell to her knees besides the chair, your phone laid shattered on the floor in a pile of dust and various hair clippings with an unsent message: "I don't feel good Natasha."

Natasha didn't feel good either, and she would never again if she had to live without you..

2023

“Hey Nat,” Steve greeted as he stepped into the meeting room to find her quietly sulking over a halved peanut butter sandwich. “You okay?”

“Your friend is fine,” she answered almost too quickly for the words to be true, and the older man sighed with the truth weighing on his mind. “Don’t you think it’s time to move on?”

“If I move on, who does this?”

“Maybe nobody, threats have been almost nonexistent Natasha, the oceans are more clear, the grass is real, and the sky is bluer.”

“If you think there’s a bright side to half of the population being dusted you’re honestly not the righteous man I thought you to be Steve.”

“I’ve become a realist in my old age Nat, you deserve to be happy, Y/N wouldn’t want this.”

“Don’t you ever bring her up to push your agenda Rogers,” she growls through gritted teeth, and the man yields upon seeing her eyes of fury paired with a clenched jaw and fists.

“There’s no moving on without her Steve. I’ll search until I’m old and grey for a way to get her back because she’s worth fighting for.”

Steve sighs, “I understand, I was just trying to help is all, I hate seeing you so down.”

“You can’t help me Steve, it seems no one can.”

Natasha slumped back in her chair, and just as her eyes went to close she got a notification from Friday that someone was at the gate.

“Hello?”

Natasha immediately turned to see that the man she knows as ‘Antman’ was stood outside, which made her jolt up because he was presumed dusted, and upon letting him in she realizes that she was l wrong, someone can help her, she just has to l pay the arrogant billionaire a visit and hope he’s down to help.

—

Tony was reluctant to help, but at the thought of Peter, his prodigy, he was in, and Natasha was elated at the promise of undoing the mess. Having you back in her arms was all she needs, and after a few days it’s looking promising.

Clint returned with a baseball glove, showing the mission would succeed as long as all parties did their part. For the most part that was true, but someone had to pay the ultimate price, and then some cosmic fluke, one that Tony himself predicted, occurred as a past Thanos emerged.

It was a gruesome battle, it seemed like the loss of Steve on Vormir was all for not, but then the fruits of their labors came to light as loads of portals opened and all those dusted emerged.

“Avengers Assemble!” Natasha aired out the war cry, a new wave of adrenaline fueling her aching body as she charged at the enemies with the knowledge that you were back to fight for.

—

Natasha sprinted from the battle field as soon as Thanos's army became nothing but dust, her legs were nearly out of commission, weighing as heavy as her heart did with the losses of the unforeseen battle, but she refused to stop until she had you, this time she knew she would.

All her friends were back, so you would be too.

Five years she'd been deprived of you, and she refused to go another minute, she promised you it wouldn't be two like before, but she never realized in doing so she sealed herself to a far more daunting, and lengthier fate.

Much like before the doors to your shop fly open, but this time you're there to look up at the sound of the familiar ding, and you don't have time to ask questions before the love of your life is sobbing loudly against your chest.

"You're here," you hear the pain in her words, to you it had only been an hour since you last felt her touch, but the sight of her changed look told you that it had to have been longer for her.

"I'm here," she gripped your shirt as you went to move, her inability to let you go actually broke your heart in two. "I'm not going anywhere love, just going to sit us down."

Natasha let you go rather briefly, allowing you to settle into the reclining lounge chair in your office, and she straddled you just as soon as your butt made contact with the plush fabric.

"You weren't waiting," she sobbed, fists now clutching your shirts collar while her hazy eyes met your soft pair. "We lost, so you were gone."

The words were enough for you to understand something magically mysterious took place, and that was good because the redhead wasn't able to elaborate, her body racking with more sobs as she reflects on her forced solitude.

With a gentle hand on the back of her head you guided her face into the crook of you neck, you felt as she took in a sharp, deep breath, and how her lip subsequently quivered right after. Her arms then forced their way between your back and the soft material of the recliner so that she could hold you impossibly closer, in direct response you copied her embracement.

After a half hour her sobs faded into hiccups, but your hand rubbing random shapes over her suit continued, even if she could barely feel it. The motion still brought her comfort, and that's all you could try to do here, there was no relating to her pain, you understood the forced solitude, but you can tell hers was far crueler.

"How long?" You started simple, but she still struggled to answer you, it hurt too much to verbalize her former reality. "F-five years."

"Oh my love," you brought her face out to look in her eyes, hands cupping her cheeks so softly as if she were made of glass. The red rimming of her eyes, and tinting of her nose broke your heart, knowing that she was likely in a state of perpetual disarray while you were gone hurt. "I'm so sorry I wasn't waiting," you kissed away the new tears as they fell. "I'm here now baby."

"I need to feel you, please, show me it's real," she pleaded, her hands already tugging at the hem of your shirt, so you sat forward to help her remove it, then you moved a hand to the front zipper of her suit, "Take it off, please!"

It'd been seven years since Natasha felt you like this, with your skin on hers it felt like a dream, like one she frequently had while on the run, but couldn’t bring herself to with you gone.

Natasha whimpered when she felt you shifting so you could set her on the chair, but she was quick to settle when she realized you were going to undress completely for her, her eyes were trained on you without ever wavering. When you slid your pants off, along with your underwear she was gasping in pure shock.

“Fuck, detka,” you smirked in amusement when catching her eyes curiously staring at the strap, “I told you baby, I’d be waiting for you.”

It clicked, and as it did she was pleading with you to give her all of you with lust burning behind her eyes, pupils darkened to the point that they seemed like a black hole ready to consume you whole, and that had you on her in no time at all, soft lips exploring her bareness.

"My sweet Natasha, you've been through so much," you acknowledge, lips pressing to scars you'd never seen before, and your heart ached. "I'm sorry you were alone for so long, but I'm here, and I'm going to take good care of you."

Natasha's entire body shivered as you ran the hard silicone through her folds, collecting her arousal so that you could enter her with ease.

“I know you want my cock baby, but please, can I taste you first?” she nodded vigorously, her hands quick to push you lower, and you snorted, “Thank you angel,” you took a deep breath in, feeling yourself salivating as you smelled her arousal, “Oh fuck, you smell heavenly, you’re still my sweet girl, right?”

“Mhm,” Natasha hummed softly, need too heavily clouding her mind to answer properly. Then she was too busy moaning as your tongue expertly swirled around her clit before it was prodding at her entrance in a teasing manner.

Mewls of pornographic proportions tumbled passed her lips as you worked her up to the edge, she hadn’t been turned on in actual years, so this was not going to be a long fuck.

You were just too good with that tongue of yours for her to hold back much of anything; her hips were frantic as they fucked her cunt into your mouth to help her get off faster; her walls fluttering around your thick pink muscle, leaving it without much wiggle room but you sure made it move; and those screams of hers were uncontainable as you sent her crashing head first into the most intense orgasm ever.

“Fuck, oh my god, please don’t ever stop!”

“I never plan to,” you murmured against her bundle of nerves causing her body to writhe as the pleasure only further coursed through her.

Natasha was panting like she’d just run a marathon, and quite honestly she’d done just about that to get to you from the intense battle. Regardless of her inability to breathe though she yanked you up and into her for a kiss that was nothing short of messy, and thrilling.

While your tongue explored her pliant mouth you reached down to line yourself up with her needy entrance, “Going to fuck you so good,” you pulled away from her lips to catch sight of her face as you thrusted completely into her.

Natasha didn’t disappoint you either, her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she was so overwhelmed by your intrusion that she was choking on the air she’s gasped in, her mouth was agape but she was too dumbed to breathe.

“Breath for me baby,” you pulled out, just to shallowly thrust back in, teasing her back down to earth, “Please, I-I need you inside so bad.”

“I know you do baby,” you smiled down at her, then watched as she involuntarily bit back a moan when you refilled her to the brim, “None of that now, I want to hear how good you feel.”

With your arms now hooked underneath her thighs as your hands reached up to fondle her breasts your thrusts were hitting even deeper. Natasha was cursing lowly in Russian, a sure way to let you know she was going to cum any second now, and you knew just what to do.

Natasha loved the idea of being yours, and she loved it even more when it came with marks.

It was an earth shattering occurrence really, you kept your pace pleasurably slow, as you began to nibble over the skin of her jaw, one of your hands continued tweaking her nipples in dizzying oscillations, as the other ventured down to rub tentative circles against her enlarged clit, “You’re close, aren’t you baby?”

Natasha whimpered with her head thrown back into the pillow, her ability to answer was lost on her as your mouth suctioned against the sensitive expanse of her throat, leaving behind marks she would never dream of covering up.

“Let go baby, drench my cock,” you bit into her pulse point, and Natasha couldn’t refrain from screaming your name in a sequence of praises.

Everything about you made her lose every ounce of composure she’s ever been trained to keep. Your smiles melt her stoney heart, and yours giggles basically annihilated her chance at ever wanting to be an Avenger ever again.

All she wants now is to retire with you, and start a family, because you’re her endgame. Nothing else will ever matter more than you.

While buried deep inside her, here you hover over her with a warm smile, you just recked her but still you manage to lean down to whisper sweet nothings in her ear as she comes down.

“How are you feeling my love?”

Natasha smiled up at you with glistening eyes, “Like I can finally breathe again, I missed you tremendously detka,” her lip wobbled slightly as you whispered against her, “Let’s go home.”

—

Natasha happily took you home on her bike as soon as she calmed down from her high, the trek was short, but meaningful as she felt you clinging to her the entire way home, the tight embrace was healing her tattered soul with every second she was able to experience it.

The two of you shared a sweet kiss as soon as you got off the bike, your lover was reluctant to let up, but she had no choice as you swept her off her feet. Natasha squealed with laughter as she settled into your arms, she admired you fondly, heart fluttering with hope as you carry her over the threshold as if you’d finally wed.

“Welcome home my beloved,” you kissed her lovingly, then let her legs drop softly, while swiftly wrapping your arms around her waist.

“I should be saying that to you,” she whispers, and you can hear the sadness in her tone, so you just pull her even closer, and kiss her deeper. “We both deserved to say it Natty.”

“I love the hair Natty,” you twirled the end of her braid in your hand, admiring the growth and dual tone, while your other ran up and down her back in soothing strokes. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you continued to play with her hair, slowly but surely you unraveled the braid, and admired the way her hair fell around her face, framing it beautifully and making you smile.

“You’re very beautiful,” you smiled wider as she blushed deeply, even in the darkness of your house you could see the red tinge of her cheeks, and how it steadily rose from her neck.

More than a decade of loving one another, and she still felt nervous whenever you spoke so tenderly to her. Treating her like a dainty flower instead of the venomous spider that hides in the petals, the one she herself feels a kinship with. You saw her for more than the world ever would. To you, she was just Natty.

“I was thinking of cutting it, but I made a promise to my favorite person, so I didn’t.”

“Oh Natty, my precious angel,” you pulled her face to yours, nuzzling your noses before you closed the minuscule gap, “You waited for me?”

The truth was right there for you to see, her eyes having returned to their natural green shone through with so much love, it was the purist kind, and you knew she meant it wholly. Nobody else would ever interest the redhead again, not when she has you as the blueprint.

“Of course I did, I’d have waited a lifetime.”

You smirked, “Yeah? I can just picture it now, grey roots, with a rich red that ombre’s to the blonde tips,” she slapped your arm, then played with you, “I’ll never go grey detka.”

“Maybe not with me here to dye your hair,” you teased while escorting your fiancée up to your bedroom so the both of you could shower.

Loud meows reverberated off the walls, and your heart cracked when you saw your not so little babies stretching on the mattress, “Oh my have you two grown,” you dropped to your knees and nuzzled your face with theirs.

Natasha stood in the bathroom doorway with a sad smile, she’d started the water already, and now she’s taken to watching you reacquainting with your felines. “They missed you just as much as I did detka, they meowed at the front door for a whole year before they gave up.”

“You never gave up,” you whispered, overcome with so many emotions as you stroke over a new to you patch of grey fur on Liho’s back.

“I never would’ve detka, you’re my world.”

“Time is so precious,” you choked out before rising to your feet, and meeting Natasha with a wobbling lip and tight embrace, “I don’t want to wait anymore Nat, I want to be your wife, move to Norway and start the rest of our lives.”

“Can Norway become Ohio?”

You quirked a brow, but nodded without any hesitation, “Wherever with you works for me.”

Natasha beamed at your words, “Perfect, we’ll leave tomorrow then, I have a house in our name, and someone special I want you to meet, and after you meet Yelena we’ll get married at the local courthouse with her as our witness.”

“Yelena?!”

“Yeah, I found her when I was on the run,” she smiled while pulling you under the hot stream, “But enough about all that, how about you give me a sneak preview of our wedding night?”

Natasha moaned when you pushed her against the marbled wall, “You’re going to regret that.”

——

13,049 Words

❤️ Kaitlyn 🥰

[blackestnight]

1: road hazard

Prompt: Steer Word count: 1406 Honestly, Hanami probably needs to come with a permanent caution sign.

“Absolutely not,” Aymeric says, his scowl marred a bit by the fact that he’s obviously holding back a smile. The overall effect is that he’s very sternly sucking on one of those spiced chocolate candies she brought back from Tuliyollal and trying not to sneeze.

Hanami leans back against the Manufactory’s wall, insulated enough in her coat not to feel the chill of stone, and raises an eyebrow at him.

“I know,” he says, grave as any battlefield order, “how you drive that thing.”

“You have never seen my drive my motorbike,” she says immediately, and because she loves him with all the fury of a dying star she even withholds the you fucking liar she wants to tack onto the end.

“I have received numerous reports of your recklessness,” he says, crisp and clipped in a way that has a smile tugging at the corner of her own mouth. “And I have no desire to risk my own life by placing myself at the mercy of your driving.”

“Reports,” she scoffs, and twirls the little metal ring around her finger so the cermet keys clink against each other. Cid and Nero are still in the middle of their most recent engineering pissing contest, and apparently the only thing they can agree on about the bikes is that she’s their favorite test driver—you’re almost guaranteed to walk away from any catastrophic malfunction, Nero had sneered, which was a compliment coming from him. It cuts down on paperwork. Not that she actually needs all the motorbikes they’ve been giving her instead of actual payment, but it’s not like she’s going to turn them down since they are useful.

Which is why it’s especially offensive that Aymeric raises his hands, ticks off his first finger, and says, “Cid Garlond.”

“If he did not want me to wreck his bikes,” she says, “he should have built better fucking bikes.”

Aymeric raises an eyebrow at her—she wrinkles her nose—but he’s truly smiling now, even as he says, “You drove it directly into a cliff face. At speed.”

“He should have built a bike that could fucking turn,” she says, which is also more or less what she had told Cid at the time, and he’d thrown his hands up and stormed out of the Ironworks tent at Porta Praetoria to scream incoherently, but the next iteration of the G-bike could make hairpin turns at speeds that would make a chocobo jockey shit themselves, so she’d clearly been right.

Aymeric raises his eyes to the heavens, although she can’t imagine who exactly he’s praying to, and he ticks off a second finger and says, “Lucia Junius.”

“That was her idea,” Hanami says. To be fair, it was a good one. The Ilsabardian contingent had brought chocobos for transporting provisions, but they couldn’t actually take the birds out on long journeys unless the scouting parties wanted to haul around enough tents and fuel to close off and heat an area big enough to keep giant hulking horsebirds from dying of exposure. Hanami’s bike was smaller, and wouldn’t freeze to death on the icy wastes of Garlemald.

It also made Hanami essentially their only mounted cavalry until they could steal some Reapers, which was a little strange, but as it turned out if she could hook her scythe blade into…really any part of a hostile piece of magitek, the bike’s momentum would do the rest of the work of tearing it to shreds, even if she did a bit of an ungainly fishtail the first few times she tried that stunt.

“She asked if you would be willing to use the bike for scouting,” Aymeric says. “Not for combat.”

“She did not explain that to the colossi pointing cannons at my face,” Hanami points out. “And they were rude and would not wait for me to put down the kickstand.”

He’s absolutely laughing now, his shoulders visibly shaking even under the bulk of his coat, but he keeps his voice remarkably steady while he ticks off a third finger and says, “G’raha Tia.”

“Can fuck right off,” she snaps, and then hisses when her tail smacks against the Manufactory wall. “He has no room to talk.” Even ignoring the stunt with the light aether, which she was still mad about, or the nonsense with Elidibus, or the tower of Zot—by the time she’d found him and Alisaie on the Magna Glacies, he’d been halfway through calling down a fireball that would have made him black out after, and bleeding from half a dozen wounds besides. Whereas Hanami dumping her bike and letting it skid straight into the giant blasphemy’s legs had been quick and efficient, and immobilized the stupid oversized lizard, and a hastily-spun shield of shadow meant Hanami had rolled to her feet without so much as a bruise. “I notice you did not get a report from Alisaie.”

“Mistress Leveilleur was quite impressed by your driving,” Aymeric says, “which I feel only reinforces my point.”

Hanami snorts, and holds out the hand not occupied with her keyring, which Aymeric takes easily. “I would not let anything happen to you,” she says, and runs her thumb across his gloved knuckles. “I can be careful.”

Erenville would bitch about anything, but he’d only complained about the noise and the smell of the bike, not her driving. Lamat-chan had been delighted the first time Hanami had taken her on a ride through the streets of Tuliyollal, split between chattering about automated wheeled carts to ferry around citizens who couldn’t handle the endless stairs or hills and whooping in elation when Hanami kicked up the speed a little down the long straight of Talonmarch. Even Alphinaud was comfortable enough on the back of the bike, although he usually wound up with his face pressed between her shoulderblades when they bounced over rougher ground.

“I know,” Aymeric says, and lifted their twined hands to press a kiss to her fingers. “Though I do wish you would take more care with your own safety, and not only that of your passengers.”

She lets loose a tiny sigh through her nose, the showy irritation melting from her shoulders, and allows herself a real smile as she runs her fingertips down the line of Aymeric’s jaw. He has an adventurer’s spirit, even if his heart is sworn to Ishgard, but she doesn’t think he’s ever felt the same delight she gets from heart-pounding excitement, almost akin to terror, kicking her pulse into overdrive and dousing her nerve endings in adrenaline. He so rarely turns down little adventures with her, but she thinks, if she could peer into his mind, he would be the sort with a voice in his head telling him to step carefully when walking along a cliff’s edge.

Her impulses have always been the sort telling her to jump. The rotten ones, the loudest ones, to try and find silence at the bottom—but the rest, the ones she heeds most closely now, just to enjoy the wind whistling through her hair during the fall.

“I know,” she says. “But I would not get myself into any trouble I could not walk away from.” Not when she has a choice in the matter.

And even when the choice was taken away from her, at the edge of the universe, she got up and walked it off anyway, even if it took some kind of bullshit akasa resurrection and a lot of physical therapy, so it isn’t as though she’d let something as silly as a bike crash keep her away from him, not when the end of days couldn’t manage it.

He comes to her easily when she tugs on his hand, and presses a kiss to her temple, the heat of his breath settling into her hair.

“Setting aside the matter of your driving,” he murmurs, his voice gone velvety in a way that warms her from the inside out, “I rather enjoy the romance of long walks with you.”

When he straightens up his smile is easy, and his fingers are twined even more firmly in her own, so she pockets the keyring and says, “You could have just said you wanted to hold my hand, you sap.”

“I thought it rather apparent,” he tells her, with another squeeze to her fingers, and she scoffs and pushes off the wall. It’s a long, cold walk to Whitebrim, but she’s never minded taking the slow way.

[muddyorbsblr]

winter warmers collection: all wrapped up

See all the Winter Warmers pieces here! See my full list of works here!

Summary: After getting in hot water with Fury about his shenanigans that revolve around candy cane, you give Loki some advice on how to seduce someone if he really wants to go down the red and white striped road. Even if it hurt you to do so.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: 18+ | unrequited love-themed angst; smut (minors and pearl clutchers i better not see you here if you know what's good for you); p in v; oral (f receiving)

Things to be aware of: besties to lovers; some fluff peppered in there to keep it interesting

"A Team, I swear on God, Allah, and whoever else is up there in that great big blue sky that if I catch wind of one more infraction from Laufeyson, I will forbid him from exiting this floor without at least one member of the team chaperoning him to make sure that this shit will not happen again. Do I make myself clear?"

You all looked up at Fury, who was standing at the top of the stairs whereas the rest of you parked yourselves into the seats strewn about in the common room. He exuded irritation and authority in his all black getup topped with a leather trench coat, looking down at each member of the team as if you were rambunctious toddlers who had a food fight in the dining room around the fine china rather than fully grown adults rightfully confused why once again he was giving a lecture on how to handle Loki.

"Director Fury, with all due respect, what exactly did Loki do this time?" you queried, not daring to look a the raven haired god by the island currently engaged in a hushed conversation with his brother Thor. You suspected it had something to do with his notorious flirting ways with the employees of SHIELD anyways.

"Let's start with the most frequent complaints I've been hearing," the director began while descending the stairs. "He's been dressing up in a red and white striped skin-tight neoprene jumpsuit and asking employees if they wanna--Hold on, you two!" He pointed at Parker and Bishop who were sitting closer to the door, Kate carrying Stark's little girl in her lap. "Out of the room. You're too young to hear this. Take Morgan with you."

"Well shit," the little Stark uttered, making everyone turn their heads toward Tony as the three children made their way out of the common room.

"What can I say she takes after her father," Stark proudly said with an exaggerated shrug. "Continue, matey."

"I resent that," Fury shot back. "As I was saying, neoprene red and white suit, approaching employees and asking if they would like to lick his candy cane." As soon as the words flew out of Fury's mouth, Sam and Bucky broke out into fits of laughter, asking Loki if he could lend them some of his shamelessness.

You did your best to ignore the irrational white hot needles of jealously spearing through your heart at the unsurprising knowledge that yes, this meeting was about the god once again sexually propositioning anything and anyone with two legs. Of course he would constantly try with every single person he could come across. Of course he was never satisfied with whoever he brought to bed that weekend; hell, with the mental tally you kept, you found that a woman was lucky if she was even brought back for a second time.

It wasn't even like this behavior took you by surprise. Thor had once regaled you with stories of how virile his brother had been in the parties they had back in Asgard. How many princes, princesses, debutantes, and dignitaries he had corrupted in his chambers.

The blond Asgardian meant well, of course, only trying to get you all to see his brother as something more than the possessed version of himself that the initial 6 members fought back in 2012. His ridiculous stories even paved the way for you to be able to strike a conversation with the god of mischief when he did arrive on Earth, eventually giving you both the opportunity to be quite good friends.

And yet it still stung whenever you had to reconcile with the reality that that was your ceiling; that was all you'd ever be. The friend he could conspire with to play pranks on the rest of the team, the one he could drag along to try out restaurants that you just knew he was going to bring a date to as soon as you gave your thumbs up. The cuddle buddy at movie nights with the team where he'd get so bored he ended up asleep with his head resting on your shoulder.

You had all those parts of him that he never shared with any of those other people. That should be enough. That was enough.

Except for the days when you'd get constantly reminded that it meant you didn't have all of him. You simply got the rest of him when those people who shared his bed had concluded with getting the best of him. And today, with Fury holding over the threat of undergoing a two-day seminar on sexual harassment over the heads of every member of the team? Today was definitely one of those days.

"Director Fury, let me be the one to sincerely apologize for my brother's infractions. I assure you that we will not allow for this to happen again," Thor announced, walking over to Fury and clapping a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm holding you to this," he addressed the god, before turning his gaze to roam over everyone in the room. "All of you." And then he walked out of the room, shaking his head as his leather trench coat trailed behind him almost like a cape.

"Mischief, you idiot," you grumbled, storming up and out of your seat and marching toward the stairs. "Why did you have to do that in public?" You ignored the amused smirk on his face at how you chose to cap off your question. "I mean if you really wanted to seduce someone the red and white neoprene was not the way to go. You wanna seduce a chick? Show up in her bed with nothing but red ribbon wrapped around you like you're the goddamn present, and if you really insist on the candy cane thing then spiral the ribbon along the length of your--Wait hold the fuck up why am I enabling this??"

"Doll face, please keep enabling this," Bucky joked from his seat, earning glares from everyone in the room. "What? I mean I figured if I wanna up my game with beautiful women I should consult the most beautiful woman I know," he explained, motioning toward you. The honesty in his words brought a smile to your face without much effort. Why couldn't you just get over your stupid infatuation with your friend and go for someone who was actually outspoken in wanting to be with you?

"Alright," you relented with an exaggerated sigh. "Just for you, Sergeant." He leaned forward to make a show of him listening intently to your next words. "Find a way to sneak in music. If she's into the campiness of the holiday, then use one of those sexy sounding Christmas songs. And for fuck's sake, ready a drink or a snack or something. You both will be exhausted and she'll appreciate that you actually bothered to think about aftercare."

"And what about the ones who just wanna hump 'em and dump 'em like your bestie Mischief here?" Sam's words simultaneously caused Loki to let out a low grumbling sound in the veteran's direction, as well as unleashed a fit of cackles from you.

"Truly, darling?" Loki deadpanned, the slightest lilt in his voice toward the end.

"I mean you do have that reputation, Mischief," you said through your giggles. "But honestly, Sam? Do it anyway. Choose violence and ruin her for everyone else but you."

Your words broke the room out into raucous applause as you made a show of curtsying and blowing kisses to the other members of the team. "Now see here, if you actually took the time to listen to her, Jack Frost, then maybe Fury wouldn't have threatened us with a two-day seminar," Tony remarked, immediately returning your sour mood.

"Literally nobody here needs a two-day seminar on what constitutes as sexual harassment," you seethed, leaning against the nearby wall. "We know that when the pipi's shown without consent that counts. We know that if someone puts their hands on us or makes inappropriate comments when we've shown no tangible signs of attraction and interest, that that absolutely counts." You glared at the raven haired Asgardian who was currently approaching you slowly. "Loki if I have to sit through two days of people spelling out the exceedingly obvious to me because you couldn't keep it in your pants, I swear on you, Thor, and every other deity there is out there that I will cut someone--"

You words were cut off as the god tugged on your wrist and pulled you into his arms, his free hand cradling the back of your head. "I know. I know, darling, I'm sorry. I didn't realize it would hold consequences for you as well. It will not happen again."

"Agent Y/L/N, you should be out celebrating with your friends. At least your team. They're all already upstairs getting ready to exchange gifts. The paperwork can wait for the new year, I guarantee you everybody will be too drunk off their ass to even file them correctly. You'd be doing them a favor handing them in late."

You looked at Fury with an amused disbelief in your eyes. "Never thought you'd be a bad influence on us, Boss," you answered him with a chuckle. "I'm almost done anyway. I'll just…conveniently forget to turn it in until the first week of January."

"Atta girl. Oh, and before I forget, good job with Laufeyson."

Your brows knitted together in confusion. "Boss, I--I haven't worked with Loki on any missions for the last few months…"

"I'm talking about his behavior. I haven't heard any new complaints about him being a sleaze to anyone ever since that last time that I called you all in. Asked his brother about it and he just said that I 'have Y/N to thank for that'. So whatever you did, good work."

"You might not be saying that once you find out that all I did was tell him that if I ended up wasting away two perfectly good days parking my ass in a sexual harassment seminar that I would stab someone." Your words made him bellow in a fit of hearty laughs. "So really, whatever it is, it wasn't me. Wish I could tell you who to thank, though."

"Whatever you say, Y/L/N." Fury shrugged as he walked away from your desk. "Happy Holidays and all that."

"Happy Holidays," you mumbled as you finished up the last of the paperwork, putting the forms aside so that you could work on the tags for your presents to the team. You'd just begun to start on Wanda's gift when you saw movement coming toward your desk from the corner of your  eye. The silhouette was more than enough for you to surmise who it was.

"Darling, you should come upstairs." You kept at your gift tags as Loki kept approaching you, only stopping when he was in front of your desk. "I can only guard your plate for so long until my brother makes a play for it."

His jab at Thor had you chuckling quietly to yourself before you took a deep breath and returned to the lettering for Wanda's tag. "I'll be up in about twenty minutes, Mischief. Thanks." You looked up and the sight before you had you using all your strength not to make it known that your heart had dropped and shattered to the ground.

He was holding two rolls of red ribbon. One about two inches thick, the other less than half an inch thick. You were immediately brought back to your conversation with him a few weeks ago, about what he would do if he really wanted to seduce someone. He followed your gaze to the items in his hand and gave you a sheepish smile. "Let it be known I always listen to perfectly sound advice, dear Y/N," he said with a playful wink as he walked away from your desk. "I'll see you upstairs."

"Good luck," you blurted out, forcing a contrived smile onto your face as he turned around to look at you. "Whoever she is, I'm sure she'll love it." He simply  answered you with a devastatingly brilliant smile as he walked into the elevator; you waited until the doors closed before you allowed the tears to start welling in your eyes, not bothering to even wipe them away as they rolled down your cheeks.

Half an hour later you were heading up to the little party that Stark threw together for the team, your presents for each of them placed under the tree and you dressed up in an A-line tea-length dress with spaghetti straps set in a deep green rather than the more traditional and predictable poinsettia red.

"Lady Y/N!" You turned around to see Thor already halfway through a glass of whatever liquor his massive mug held. "Quite the choice of attire for tonight. I'm positive my brother would be more than flattered." He motioned toward your dress, the knowledge that you were currently wearing Loki's colors only now making itself known to you and quickly sinking into a feeling of utter mortification. "Ohh! And it is quite fortunate that I found you so early in the night; my brother told me that if I were to see you, I am to tell you that  he will not be attending this party as he is preparing a present…?"

"Yeah, I know about the present, Thunder." His eyes lit up in a strange mixture of excitement and fear. "He passed by my desk earlier and he was holding rolls of ribbon. He's the present. He's off to seduce some Midgardian girl. Lucky bitch." You finished your sentence with a huff, tilting your head toward the ceiling and willing yourself not to start tearing up in front of Thor; he wasn't nearly drunk enough to forget this yet.

"Oh no…" he signed, lightly placing a hand on your shoulder. "My friend, surely by now you know--"

"You know what? I'm over it," you blurted out, throwing your hands up in surrender. "He can do whatever he wants, he's a big boy he can take care of himself." You placed your hand over his. "Happy Holidays, Thunder."

A few minutes of picking at the food on your plate decided your course of action for the night. And none of it involved staying with the team as they merrily exchanged their presents and got so drunk off their asses that they'd be unable to take care of themselves in the morning. You declared yourself the designated caretaker to the children and the team tomorrow and began the journey back to your apartment.

"Babes!" You turned around to find Natasha and Wanda arm in arm, drinks in hand. "You're leaving already?" You nodded at them. "Nooooo but you just got here and you look hot and we haven't even exchanged presents yet."

"I'm not in the partying mood, Babes," you answered with a sad smile. "I'll only be a downer. You all go open presents without me I'll probably just bully Thor into gathering mine for me so I can open them in my apartment tomorrow or something."

"Really? Not Loki?" Wanda queried, slurring her words and swaying slightly in Nat's hold.

The bitterness seeped into your heart again as you answered, "He's not here tonight. Too busy getting busy. Probably with someone from Operations or where the fuck ever."

"But I thought--"

"Wan, it's fine," Nat cut off the sorceress. "Y/N, Babes, you don't have to stay if you're not feeling up to it. We'll see you in the morning." They both approached you and wrapped you into a stumbling embrace. "Besides, at least one person in the unholy trinity should be sober in the morning to take care of the others' hungover asses."

"Carbo load," you told them simply. "There's a tray of pasta in the catering table, I checked. And if that's not enough, I'll see about making you two some grilled cheeses after the party wraps up."

"You're the best," Wanda sighed, resting her head on your shoulder. "Merry ho ho."

You couldn't help but let out a laugh as you pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Merry ho ho, Wanda." Nat helped pull her off of you so that could continue heading up to your apartment. Once you were only a few more meters away from home, your phone rang. A look at the Caller ID had your heart pumping erratically. Loki.

"Just in case no one's told you yet, darling," he spoke once you answered the call. "You look resplendent. Absolutely regal."

You scoffed into the phone, rolling your eyes at his words. "You're not even here, Mischief. I could be wearing a potato sack for all you know."

"And even then my words would still ring true."

Dammit, why did he have to make it so hard to not love him?Life would be so much easier if those words didn't hit me right in the heart. You sighed at his usual brand of what you lovingly referred to as "friendzone flirting". "So that was fast," you commented, your poor attempt at steering the conversation toward him and far away from you.

"What was?"

"Your seduction," you said as plainly as you could manage. "I know what that ribbon was for, Mischief. Don't even think about placing that back in the gift wrapping stock when you're done with it."

"Not quite," he answered you with a light laugh. "See, it hasn't begun yet."

You could feel what little food you had at the party start to come up at his implication. So he was calling you before he fucked his latest conquest because what? Why? Because he was bored waiting for her to put on her lingerie that he was gonna snap of anyways?

"Where are you, Y/N?" he asked with an even voice, as if he were almost cooing.

"Walking back to my apartment.  Actually scratch that. I'm right at the door," you answered as you unlocked the front door. When you were finally inside, you were taken aback at the sight of a golden drinks trolley by the entry table, containing two mugs, a jar of what you assumed was powdered sugar, a box that said Harry & David Hot Cocoa Bombs, and little containers of marshmallows, candy canes, and a little cinnamon shaker. "What the--"

"I used my key to your apartment to place my present for you." Something in his tone made it obvious to you that he was nervous about this.

"You got me a hot cocoa bar? That's--Damn, Mischief, I don't know what to say--"

"That's not quite the present, darling," he cut you off. "That's for after."

"After?" You walked toward your bedroom, ready to just kick off your heels and soak in the tub until you felt your unwarranted heartache melt away. "After what?"

Something from his end made you stop in your tracks. You could hear a woman's voice from his end, which was expected. What wasn't expected what that the voice…was yours.

"Loki, where are you?" you asked shakily, your heart beginning to pound in your chest as your brain tried to reconcile what you thought was happening. You pressed your ear to your door, dreading both the answer and what you would hear from your bedroom.

"Laying in bed, darling." Your free hand clutched at your chest as you heard his voice both from the phone pressed to your ear and from the door. He was there. "Truthfully my plans for tonight were not to seduce another nameless faceless Midgardian whose face I would end up enchanting in order for them to resemble the visage of the one I truly wish to share my bed."

"Really now?" you breathed out, your mind running a mile at minute at his words. At what they implied. "And what exactly were your plans for tonight, Mischief?"

"To lay out my heart to the woman who owns it, as well as my body if she'll have me. See, she and everyone around us have this image of me that I am a philanderer, and I fear that even if I tell her the truth of my whorish ways that she would simply choose to not believe me. I would understand. After all, it would not be so easy to believe that in my mind I have only ever been with her, that as I mentioned earlier I enchant the faces of those I lay with so that my eyes see her face looking up at me instead of an insignificant stranger's. That I love her beyond comprehension and seeing the obvious pain in her eyes the last few weeks as she looked upon me have felt like someone had taken my own daggers to my heart and twisted the blade. I knew I had to make right the wrongs I hadn't even been aware I'd done."

"Loki--"

"Open the door, darling. Please." You could hear his voice wavering as he said the words. "Let me see you."

You took a deep breath as you clutched your door handle, bracing yourself for whatever sight may greet you. Though you already knew what you would see: His godly form bared and wrapped in a festive red ribbon. Like a present.

Your present.

The image of him performing the over the top gesture in your imagination, however, was nothing compared to seeing said gesture with your own eyes. He truly was one of those exceptions wherein reality surpassed fantasy.

You steeled your expression into one of feigned indifference, one that he absolutely saw right through but you did it regardless, as your eyes roamed his sculpted physique, the red ribbon wrapped intricately around his torso that would come off in a dramatic flourish with one tug at the bow settled on the center of his chest. And attached to the thicker ribbon wrapped around him was the thinner ribbon leading to--

Goddamn he really did it. Candy cane dick.

"You look so divine it would put all the goddesses in Olympus and Asgard alike to shame," he spoke softly. You instinctively looked away to prevent yourself from any rash decisions when his eyes roamed over your body and you saw the candy cane twitch.

"And you look ridiculous," you choked out, your voice not even holding a shred of conviction. A lie so bad you may as well have worn a neon red sign saying This bitch lying.

He held out his hand towards you, beckoning you to him. "Come here and unwrap your present then, my love."

Your knees buckled at his words. "Your love," you echoed, though your tone was so laced with doubt that it sounded more like a question than anything else. When you reached your bed and placed your hand in his he sat up on the bed and pulled your hand toward him, placing a kiss on your knuckles.

"Yes," he answered you with a soft smile, his eyes looking up at you with such veneration it stole whatever breath you had left in your lungs. He placed his hands on either side of your body as he pulled you close enough so that he could press several kisses to your clothed stomach. "It's you, darling. Since the moment your eyes met mine."

His hands traveled down to the sides of your thighs, guiding you to rest your knees on either side of him on the bed, straddling his hips. Once your faces were level, you could see so clearly the emotions swimming in his eyes as he leaned forward to press a soft kiss to your cheek, so gently it was almost as if he were afraid you'd break.

"Then why all those--"

"I valued your company too much that I dared not risk it simply because I desired your body," he explained in hushed tones, as if he was confessing to you, as if they were words of contrition. "You were too precious for me to lose to my own lust. And so whenever I felt the urge to shatter our friendship, I would find another to unleash those desires upon. It mattered not who. Even when I would deceive my own eyes I knew it would never be enough, and--"

"And in the process of finding another after another with the intention of preserving our friendship, you instead shattered me," you cut him off, your bottom lip quivering and your heart breaking with the effort you were exerting to not sob and yell your words out. "Every. Single. Time." He pulled away to look into your eyes, already brimming with unshed tears threatening to escape. Your next words barely came out a whisper. "I can't. I refuse to be another notch in your bedpost."

"You won't be," he pleaded, brushing the tips of his fingers lightly across your cheek. "I love you, Y/N. You are all I would ever desire. All I have ever desired since the moment we met."

You placed your hands on his shoulders, bracing yourself both physically and emotionally for the next words you were about to let out. "I love you, Loki." The smile on his face was so blindingly brilliant and rife with relief as he leaned in with the clear intent of pressing his lips to yours; however, you pushed back against his shoulders, earning you a confused look from the god. "If we do this, the sleeping around stops. Okay? Because I won't share you—"

He silenced you by pulling you towards him, your chests flush against each other, claiming your lips in a kiss that oozed of yearning and ages of repressed love. The moment you opened your mouth to him and your tongues met, you both sighed into each other's mouths in audible contentment. "I am yours, my love," he panted as he pulled away. "All of me. I do not intend to be shared, just as I have no intentions of sharing you if you would be mine."

His. That sounded like a dream. A beautiful fantasy too blissful to be true. "Yours…" You tested the word on your tongue as if it was such a foreign concept. "I'd like that," you said softly as you ran your hands along his shoulders, traveling down to his chest and the bow situated in its center, a loving smile stretching across his face as you did so. "So…if I tug on this it all comes falling off?" 

He placed his hand over yours, placing a tender kiss on your neck before whispering against your skin, "We need not go further if you're not ready to be intimate with me yet. We could stay doing exactly what we were just moments ago for the rest of  and I would be content. Because it's you. I am finally with you." He traced his lips along your jaw and up back to your mouth, claiming it once again in a soft kiss. "Only when you are ready, tell me. Or tug on the end of the bow and—"

"Yeah you can save the speech, Mischief. I'm ready," you cut him off, pulling at the end of the bow and watching the ribbon unravel with a dramatic flourish down to the bed. "I love you, and I want you to make me yours." His smile turned mischievous as he pulled the entirety of the ribbon off and away from him, his hands then returning to your thighs, skimming under the hem of your dress. "You're not pretending anymore," you cooed.

"And yet a fraction of this reality with you is worlds better than any illusion I'd ever conjured." His words sounded so reverent that they alone sent a rush of arousal pooling between your legs, worsening the state of your already drenched panties. His hands inched up slowly, hiking up the bottom of your dress along the way. He looked at you with an uncharacteristically timidity in his eyes, as if he was asking for permission. "May I?"

His hesitation unleashed something you could only describe as desperate in you. Desperate for more of his touch. His kisses. That lust he'd mentioned earlier that he didn't want to risk losing you to. You wanted him to lose himself to that desire now. Craved it, even. Your words from weeks ago echoed in your mind, a wicked grin playing at the corners of your mouth as they came to the forefront of your thoughts.

You wanted to ruin him. For everyone else but you. And vice versa.

As if he hadn't already ruined you the moment you walked in and spotted him all wrapped up like the best Christmas present you'd ever receive for the rest of your days.

You ran your hands down the length of his arms, hooking them under the bunched up hem of your dress and pulling the garment over your head, haphazardly throwing it down to the floor, joining the ribbon. His eyes lit up as his gaze roamed all the newly exposed skin to him, immediately leaning forward and pressing his lips to the skin above your heart and proceeding to trace the outline of your bra with his lips. "No more pretending," he breathed out, the slightly cool air of his exhalation chilling your heated skin by the slightest.

"No more pretending," you echoed with a satisfied grin pulling at your mouth. You brought your hands to his shoulders once more, urging him to look at you. Once he did you pressed a fevered kiss to his lips before groaning against him, "But I want you to fuck me as if you were."

Loki pulled your hips flush against his, both of you letting out an obscene moan as your drenched clothed core made contact with his hardened member. "No," he growled, reaching behind you to undo your bra, the undergarment falling unceremoniously to the ground and joining your dress. "Perhaps another night, my darling." He maneuvered your bodies until you were laying down on the bed, him hovering over you and looking up at you through his lashes. "This is not something that deserves to be over in minutes."

"Minutes?" you huffed in utter shock and disbelief. "What happened, they tap out?"

"Frustration on my part," he answered you simply, beginning to trail kisses across your collarbone and down your chest. "Because despite my greatest efforts my mind could not be deceived. They weren't you. None of them were you." He went on a path down your body, briefly taking each of your nipples into his mouth and laving his tongue over the stiffened peak, down your stomach, and stopping at your mound. "I can tell you now, my love, that this will not last for mere minutes. I intend to take my time with you."

As soon as he said those words, you let out a sharp gasp as he so effortlessly snapped apart the sides of your panties and pulled the fabric off of your body, proceeding to place your thighs on his shoulders and lift you off the bed. Just enough that your shoulders and upper back were still laying flat, but also enough that it would take great effort for you to find the leverage to squirm away from him if you wanted to.

You twisted your body in his hold so much that he seemingly casually laid his forearm across your lower stomach as he continued to subject you to wave after wave of relentless pleasure, steadily ramping you up to an orgasm that threatened to leave you boneless. "Oh my darling," he groaned against your skin, the vibrations from his voice sending a delicious thrill throughout your entire body. "I could devour you for hours."

The whimper that escaped your mouth felt so uncharacteristic for you. Then again everything about tonight felt unfamiliar to some degree. "Loki," you whined, prompting him to close his lips around your clit and flick his tongue mercilessly against the overly sensitive bundle of nerves, and letting out a scandalous moan against the desperately over-sensitized nub that send you over the edge. You screamed his name as your back arched off the bed, the haze of your climax making you only vaguely aware of how he held you still as you rode out your release on his tongue.

He set your legs back down on the bed and you were thankful for the reprieve, allowing you a few moments to catch your breath; however, the rest was short lived, as he gripped your hips and pulled you toward him until your ass sat atop his thighs, and he placed a hand under your back to prop you up and face him, pulling you in for a kiss so deliciously carnal as your tongues tangled together and you could taste yourself on him.

"I love you," he panted once he pulled away, bringing his hand down between you and lining his cock up at your entrance. He wrapped his other arm around you and held you close, pressing his lips softly along your neck and shoulder as you eased yourself onto him inch by inch, biting your lip as you felt the mixture of pain and pleasure as your walls stretched to accommodate him.

He moaned against your neck once you'd fully sheathed him inside of you, the backs of your thighs resting deliciously on the tops of his. You laid your hand on his chest as the other wrapped around the back of his neck, doing your best to move and set a pace for you both but even the slightest shift sent rippling shocks of pleasure all over your body that all you could do was rest your head against his shoulder and desperately whimper his name time and time again.

Those whimpers quickly became moans as he held your hips firmly and began to guide your body up and down along his length, capturing your lips in a desperate, nearly harsh kiss that proved effective in muffling the tell-tale screams of pleasure being elicited from both of you.

What started as a tender, sensual pace quickly turned frenzied as you both began to chase each other's pleasure, your hips finally moving of their own accord and allowing his hands to roam your body, his lips doing much of the same. When your paces grew staggered he moved you to lie back on the bed, your back once again flat against the mattress, and he hooked your legs around his waist as he drove into you mercilessly.

"Please," you cried out, feeling the coil tightening in your lower stomach once again. "I don't think--"

"Oh you can, my love," he countered you as he pressed his lips to your shoulder in a sloppy open mouthed kiss, your brain fogging once more as you felt him flicking his tongue against your skin, and his hand moving between you to start rubbing tight circles on the swollen bud. "Come with me," he coaxed as he proceeded to kiss along the shell of your ear, your moans echoing around your bedroom as his thrusts became slower, but harder.

Your legs shook with how hard your climax hit you, not even thinking you could manage it since you'd never done it before, but it truly didn't take you by surprise that Loki had managed to do just that as he somehow hit every sweet spot inside of you with every move. He reached his own peak as your walls clenched around him, his hips jerking against yours as he finally reached his release inside of you.

"You know, if I'm gonna be honest, I would've thought that you would've gone for the gold ribbon," you told Loki as you two were sat at the little kitchen island in your apartment, both of you nursing your own mug of hot cocoa as the god held your calf in his free hand, his thumb gently stroking your skin. "I know we had some in the stock room last I checked."

"Well, my darling, you would be correct. But when I arrived at the stock room earlier today someone else had already taken the gold. That was when I knew I had to hasten my steps, make it here before…" he trailed off.

"Before what?" you asked with a chuckle.

He took a deep breath before placing his mug down and reaching over to take yours from your hand, setting it down as well, before he pulled you back onto his lap and captured your lips in a kiss that felt both possessive and desperate all at once. "This does mean that you are mine now, dear Y/N. Yes?" he asked when he pulled away, shock flooding your system when you saw the vulnerability in his eyes as he said the words.

"Of course," you breathed out, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "You're stuck with me now, Mischief."

"I would have it no other way, my love." He wrapped his arms around you, one of his hands reaching up to weave his fingers through your hair. "Y/N before I made it to your apartment, I'd heard that one of the men on our team was trying to find a way into your apartment to follow the advice you'd given us weeks ago as well."

That reveal had taken you aback, your eyes widening as your brain tried to process the new information. "I'll be honest, Loki. If I walked in here and found someone else ribbon-clad in my bed I would've kicked them out. Walk of shame style. Tonight wouldn't have ended the way it did if it wasn't you."

Those words made him pull you in for another kiss, sighing into your mouth as he pulled you even closer to him, your bodies completely flush against each other.

"I'm glad you got the red, though," you said, a wicked smile pulling at the corners of your mouth as he looked at you with confusion rife in his icy stare. "I liked the candy cane look on you." You struggled to move away from him as he trapped you in his arms, proceeding to tickle your sides and render you into a giggling mess.

"My beautiful little menace," he chuckled as his onslaught ceased, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "Do you not even wish to know who it was that would have walked in shame out of your apartment had you found him instead?"

"You know what…I kinda am…mostly because I want to picture their walk of shame in gold ribbon. Who was it?"

You broke out into another fit of laughter, your body shaking uncontrollably as he held you against him as soon as he uttered the name. "Barnes."

A/N: Omg I'm so happy to finally finish this story and finish off the idea that's been running around my brain since Monday 😂 "Candy Cane Dick" story is finally done. SAS, if you know you know 😏

Everything tag list: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @springdandelixn @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @arch-venus25 @freefrommars @littlemortals @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @peaches1958 @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @iobsessoverfictionalmen @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @avoliax @devilsadvocactus @purplegrrl27 @lokiprompts @sititran @imherefortomhiddleston @ladyjames78 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @kats72 @ronnieissupermegafoxyawesomehot @creationsbyme @coldnique

[ieatshiteveryday222]

Reel big fishy sout park candy coated furry redraw hello I love ska.

Candy coated fury was my first Reel Big Fish album, and I still love it so dearly...

Original photo and close ups of my drawing under the cut 😋

[liaromancewriter]

This Little Bunny

Premise: The kids are out trick-or-treating, but there’s one bunny too many for Max to handle.

Book: Open Heart (post series) Pairing: Sienna Trinh x Max Valentine (M!OC); feat. OC children Rating/Category: General. Fluff. Words: 1,650

A/N: Ages ago, I received a prompt from @jerzwriter about any of my characters losing their kids while out and about. Finally found the inspiration for it. I'm using @choicesflashfics week 57, prompt 3. Submission to @choicesprompts Flufftober.

Amelia Valentine was excited for her first Halloween. Her siblings had done it millions of times, but then they were older than her. Of course, it wasn’t really her first Halloween; she was four years old, after all. But she didn’t remember the last ones on account of being too little. So, as far as she was concerned, they didn’t count.

Her big brother Noah boasted about all the candy he was going to get, but Amelia was more excited about Daddy taking them trick-or-treating and her costume. The white bunny with big blue eyes and floppy, pink ears was her favorite character from an old children’s movie.

Amelia squirmed in excitement, her eyes locked on the furry bunny suit laid out on the bed. She was already wearing thick leggings and a thick sweater since it was cold out. She didn’t want to wear a coat on top of her costume because then no one would see it.

“Hold still, Melly,” scolded Mommy as she brushed the tangles out of her hair.

“Is Daddy home yet?” Amelia asked, trying to hold herself still, but her body was vibrating with excitement. “He promised to take us trick-or-treating!”

“Yes, he came home while you were taking a bath,” Sienna Valentine said, rolling her eyes at Amelia’s apparent preference for Max.

What am I, chopped liver? Sienna thought in amused exasperation. Still, she was well used to females of all ages falling for her husband’s charm. Their daughters were hardly an exception.

She tightened her hold to keep the little girl still while she finished making her hair. Amelia was the only one of their children to have blonde curls, and taming them was an exercise in patience.

“There, all done,” Sienna said, sighing in relief. “Now, let’s turn you into Snowball.”

Amelia stepped into the jumpsuit, and Sienna zipped up the front and adjusted the hood with its floppy ears over her head. She applied a little gloss on her lips, drew thin whiskers with an eyeliner and dabbed some blush on the tip of her daughter’s nose to complete the look.

“Look,” she said, turning Amelia around to face the mirror.

When Amelia gasped in delight, preening at her reflection, Sienna smiled and snapped a picture on her phone. She would post them on the family group chat shortly for both sets of grandparents to gush over.

At the last minute, she remembered to pin a card with her name and phone number behind one of the ears. It was probably not needed, but she’d rather be safe than sorry.

“Cute bunny ears,” Max commented as they joined him and the other kids in the foyer. Amelia ran toward him, and he lifted her up in his arms for a hug. “Ready for trick-or-treating, Amelia Mai?”

“Are you sure about this?” Sienna pursed her lips worriedly as they stepped into the outside hallway.

With two of Belle’s friends joining them, Max would be responsible for supervising five children under the age of ten. Usually, Sienna would go trick-or-treating with them, but the baby was running a slight fever, and she didn’t feel right leaving him with the nanny.

“Please,” Max scoffed, raising one brow arrogantly. “I run a multi-billion dollar company. I can handle five kids. Piece of cake.”

A short while later, Max waited for the light to change and gripped Amelia’s hand in his as they crossed the street. He glanced at the gradually darkening skies and hoped the rain would hold off for another couple of hours.

Noah and Belle walked ahead of them with their friends, heads together, planning their route for optimal candy collection. His son was dressed up as Nick Fury, declaring him the coolest character from the Marvel universe. Belle was still in her princess phase and wore a tiara and poofy gown under her thick coat.

They reached a section of their neighborhood that had been closed off to traffic for the evening. Here, the houses were decked out for Halloween, from the macabre to the absurd.

The air was filled with the sounds of children shouting and running around and music from a band of musicians dressed like ghouls that had set up in the center of the street.

“Look, Daddy, there’s another Snowball.” Amelia tugged at his hand for attention.

Max glanced at the other trick-or-treaters on the pavement. There were a number of animal costumes, including several white bunnies, clearly a popular choice this year.

“My costume is better,” she sniffed dismissively.

He smirked at the hint of competitiveness in her tone. She could be shy at times, but Amelia was a Valentine through and through, he chuckled.

Letting go of her hand so she could join her siblings, he followed close behind while they visited the first few houses. He remarked on their candy haul, carried Amelia’s bag when she got tired after the third house and snapped a few pictures to send to Sienna.

It was all going well until they reached the sixth house. While the kids did their thing, Max leaned against a wrought iron railing and scrolled through the messages on his phones.

A few minutes later, the kids came tumbling down the steps, and he spied a white bunny out of the corner of his eyes. He absently grabbed Amelia’s hand, finished sending a text with one hand and pocketed the device as they continued down the street.

Two or three houses later, Max glanced down at the top of Amelia’s covered head and wondered why she was so quiet.

“Everything okay, honey?” he asked, frowning when she didn’t reply. “Amelia?”

He placed a hand on her shoulder to hold her in place while keeping one eye on the four walking up ahead.

“Noah, Belle, hold up,” Max called out and saw the older kids stop and start to walk back.

He crouched down on his haunches, turned Amelia around to face him, and almost fell on his ass when a stranger stared back at him from below the hood.

“Who are you?” Max whispered, his voice coming out strangled.

“Tommy,” the other boy said, scrunching his nose as he shrugged.

Max peered intently and realized it was a little boy roughly Amelia’s age and height. Given the similarity in their costumes, he reasoned it was an easy enough mistake to make. Not that it mattered. Sienna was going to kill him anyway!

“Dad, where’s Melly?” Noah asked, staring at the little boy in the white bunny costume. Max held up one hand in a gesture for Noah to wait.

Max tamped down the fear gripping his heart. It was a useless emotion. What he needed right now was to focus, find his daughter and return Tommy to his parents. He would have plenty of time later to relive this nightmare.

“Do you know your parents’ names, Tommy?” Max kept his tone gentle so as to not scare the kid. He sighed in relief when Tommy nodded and plopped a thumb in his mouth.

“What are their names?” Max prompted.

Tommy removed the thumb and whispered, “Mommy and Daddy.”

Okay then, Max thought, trying to hide his amusement at the response. “Did you come trick-or-treating with them?”

“Daddy brung me,” Tommy said.

“Let’s go find him. Okay?”

Formulating a plan, Max rose from the pavement, took Tommy’s hand and gazed at his son, who was looking worried.

“Noah, it’ll be alright. Please get Belle, Emma and Amy and follow me. And stay close,” he added when Noah turned to do as he asked.

Keeping all five kids in tow, Max retraced his steps to where he thought the switch might have occurred.

He remembered being distracted on his phone a few houses down and grabbing hold of what he thought was Amelia. But he hadn’t seen her face under the costume, and she hadn’t come running down the steps to show him her candy as she’d done before.

They were halfway there when his phone started ringing. He saw Sienna’s name on the screen and accepted the call, signaling the kids to stop and stand off to the side.

“How’s it going?” she asked, amusement coloring her voice.

“Oh, you know, fine,” Max stalled, sending a silent prayer that she couldn’t see the panic in his eyes.

“I see,” she said neutrally. “So, the phone call I just got from Tommy’s dad was a hoax, and he doesn’t have our daughter?”

Crap, crap, crap. Max closed his eyes briefly.

“I’m sorry, Si,” Max said, sighing deeply. “I’ll explain when we get home, but I’m pretty sure I know how this happened.”

“I can’t wait to hear this story. I’ll have the wine waiting,” Sienna laughed. “I’m texting you the dad’s number so you can meet up. If it’s any consolation, he’s just as embarrassed as you.”

A few minutes later, Max met up with Tommy’s dad and made the exchange. Both hemmed and hawed as they explained how they’d made a mistake, but they were also relieved at averting disaster.

The father and son waved goodbye and disappeared into the crowd of trick-or-treaters.

Noah and Belle surrounded Amelia, asking lots of questions, but Max plucked her into his arms and hugged her tight.

“Daddy, that’s too tight,” she complained against his neck.

“You really scared me, kiddo,” he said, loosening his hold to gaze into her eyes. “I’m so sorry I lost you.”

Almost an hour later, and after dropping Belle’s friends off, Max unlocked the front door and shepherded his kids inside. They rushed into the living room while he hung up his coat in the hall closet.

He walked in to find them gathered around Sienna, who was nodding and smiling as they narrated their adventures and showed off their bags of candy and snacks.

She glanced at Max, her eyes brimming with mischievous laughter. “Piece of cake, huh?”

------------

All Fics & Edits: @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @peonierose @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

Submissions: @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Max & Sienna only: @aallotarenunelma @storyofmychoices @kyra75

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

Everyone Else Is An Asshole • Punisher • She's Not The End Of The World • Don't Let Me Down Gently • I Know You Too Well To Like You Anymore • Hiding In My Headphones • I Dare You To Break My Heart • Your Girlfriend Sucks • Don't Stop Skankin' / Oh, Rudy • Famous Last Words • Lost Cause • I Love/You Suck • P.S. I Hate You • The Promise

Spotify ♪ YouTube

[indigo6f00ff]

edit of Reel Big Fish's Candy Coated Fury album by Thom Foolery (idk if they have a tumblr, sorry). original under cut

But why do I think? Why do I try? What if I drink myself 'til I die? (She's Not the End of the World)

hi im mentally deranged. did not expect that stupid like 5 minute comic i drew about me being blessed by my brain generating the voice of kim to comfort me after i got into like the smallest car crash ever to blow up. ty very much to everyone whos been going like 'hell yeah' or 'hope youre ok!' at it.

anyways that spurred me to get off my ass and do this stupid album edit ive been thinking about doing.

[the-kr8tor]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN IVE GOT SOME ENERGY TO DO THIS!! Daily Hobie HC! I love octobie- I'll never forget this<3 The rain pelted down on the deck, swords clashing. With every sharp sting of metal cutting through the air, thunder cackled in the distance, the waves of the ocean raging with your own anger. Your anger knew no bounds, seeping from your body and through the cracks of the ship, tainting the ocean to roar and roll, tentacles of waves clawing at the ships. Blood spilled mercilessly as you fought for your lover. For Hobie. Every ticking moment the blade was grazing cruelly against his skin was every moment to your heart beating faster in your ears. Hobie had been restrained to the mast of the enemy's ship after being caught by a cold blow from the butt of a gun, ropes firm around his ankles and neck as the fight droned on. Blinded by rage and desperation, you fought with everything you had to spare. However, it all seemed to be in vain as you saw the knife plunged deep into his abdomen, blood spilling out and thickly coating his shirt. You watched his eyes flicker in and out of consciousness, tears welling at his eyes as the same as yours. Hobie's vision blurred significantly, watching as you ran towards him and cut free his bindings, brutally killing any enemies that dared to step close. He watched as you held him close, mustering up the last of his strength to gently cup your face with a small smile, wiping away your tears. His breath was shallow, blood bubbling from the stab wound. The moment Hobie's consciousness slipped away, you let out a gut-wrenching cry, your crewmates flinching at your grief. Thankfully, he was still barely breathing, and possibly able to be saved if his injury was patched up. Hobie was quickly moved under the deck with the ship's medic. If your rage had been intense before, universes were now splitting in half. Fury rolled off your body in waves, dripping into the atmosphere. The thunder only enhanced the chaos filled battle as you cut and slice your way through bodies, blood splattering all over your cold expression. Not long, the battle was won. You make your way quickly to where Hobie would've been, his shirt removed with bandages covering the location of his injury. He laid on the mattress of his bed. His droopy eyes opened with pure fondness and love for you, despite the blood splattered across your skin. You sat at the edge and hugged Hobie, tears running down your cheeks as you masked your worry for him with weak anger. He could see right through it, holding you closer and kissing your forehead, gently rubbing your back so that you could calm down and relax for a moment, knowing your body was still buzzed on adrenaline. -🐦‍⬛

Happy Halloween!! I hope u got lots of candies! 🎃

Daily Hobie HC ❤️❤️❤️

Here's to more octobies in the future! 🥂

YOOOOO THE SECOND I READ DECK I SCREAMED BDAS!!!

GASP!!! NOOOOOO HOBIE

How dare u write the ending of bdas 😤😤 /jk

I love the atmosphere of this!

R deserves to go crazy! Go pookie! Go murder some ppl for your lover!!! I support their rights and wrongs

OH HELL YEAH R IS A BADASS

Hobieee noooo hold on!!!

I can just imagine the slow mo scene of r coming up the deck with their fury filled expression, blood coating their clothes and weapons and just staring down at the enemy with so much furriosity that the enemy thinks r can control the weather by how lightning strikes just behind r before they lunged at them

OH THANK FUCK HE'S ALIVE

I bet Hobie fell more in love with r after that 🤭

[juneyjubilation]

Headcanons and Drafting for a Liu Woods x NB!Reader Fanfic

A/N: Hello! I have been writing on tumblr for near a decade now and am starting a new account to clear up my feed for everyone! I’m going to be revamping my writings from my previous account and reposting them on here as well.  This is to keep myself accountable, and also for y’all to see details on future fanfics :))

_ _ _

+ Grew up in a strict religious household, who’s mother reigned with an iron first and father was negligent. They were manipulative– the parents were rich and would love bomb on the boys if they grew distant or too cold towards them. There was a constant push and pull in the household.

+ If Liu or Jeff committed what his mom considered sins she would not refrain from corporal punishment, or cruel and unusual methods.

+ Liu would try and take the brunt of most of it to protect Jeff

+ Liu is the older brother, I will not change my mind on that. Simply cannot. 

+ Liu suffers from DID, having three tangible alters. Liu himself is the host, Sully the persecutor, Dara the Internal Self-Helper(Gate Keeper), Orpheus the protector.  + Liu’s Bio: Liu used to be a very outgoing person. He was defined as an extrovert, and was very popular in his group of peers. He wouldn’t hesitate to stand up for others outside of his household. He also cared for Jeff deeply, and wanted to protect him all he could. With how his parents were, all he could really do was take the blame off his little brother, and redirect their fury. However, after the incident, he’s more of just a shell of his former self. He’s quiet and aloof, standing back to observe more than to go right on in. Similar to Sully, he is very slow to trust. It is possible to get close to him though, and only then would aspects of his old self shine through. Once he is comfortable though he is physically affectionate, adoring touching people even if it’s just standing shoulder to shoulder. He has to feel very safe though in order to do so. He is a goofball with bad old man puns and an aloof sense of humor. He collects cool rocks he sees even if it’s from the rocks that are surrounding shrubbery outside of businesses. He himself has a fondness for sweets, usually candies defined as “old people candy,” but that’s partially due to the fond memories he had of his grandparents. Liu wears graphic tees, like the ones that say “MILF - man i love frogs” and shit like that. He wears a tattered canvas type jacket over top and fingerless gloves, he prefers pants with a bit of leg room like puffy ones that tuck well into his boots. He does steal Sully’s jewelry though. His bracelet is a forest green, gray, and black.

+ Sullys Bio: Sully is the trauma holder, carrying the weight of everything that was done to Liu. He carries that anger and brandishes it like a weapon. He is vindictive, aggressive, and very deeply hurt. He is stubborn and refuses to let people close to him, because in his eyes anyone who’s ever gotten close to him has used it to either hurt him or for their own personal gain. He likes spicy food, like noodle bowls and salt and vinegar chips. He wears intense layers, like a long sleeve with a button up and a coat with tattered arm socks and a bunch of necklaces. Eclectic fashion in muted tones. Has the psychobiological difference that he is allergic to pollen and has severe allergies. His friendship tie is a deep red, bright red, and black. He was developed as a direct cause of what happened with Jeff Sully formed when he was attacked by Jeff.

+ Daras Bio: Dara is in his own eyes a healer, he is able to calm down even the most intense moods and guide Liu through all stages of life. He is calm and rational, and very protective of the few people who are in the system, and has the most empathy for those outside of it. He acts as a second brother for Liu, being more like how Liu himself used to act for Jeff. He loves fruit, but is not a candy person. Loves blueberry pie and lemon flavored baked goods. He is a hobbyist who loves to bounce between sewing projects.HE MADE THEIR SCARF He dresses very academically in sweater vests and corduroy pants, and takes pride in dainty jewelry. He has made tie friendship bracelets in different colors so it is easy to identify who is in control at that time. His is a soft blue white and gray. He was developed at a young age, technically a fracture of Liu when he was a child He was a source of comfort when Liu was being abused by his parents.

+ Orpheus Bio: Orpheus is the sole reason Liu is alive, especially with the reckless shit that Sully pulls. He is cunning and resourceful, he is like a quiet but gentle giant. He keeps track of their belongings so they dont get lost between switches, he is stern like a grumpy but doting father. Very paternal, but also ominous and threatening. He wears casual t shirts with flannels and distressed jeans. He loves to cook, and seriously thrives in a kitchen. His favorite foods are savory like steak and potato stew.  He is honestly the only reason these mfers eat. His colors on the wristband are violet, indigo, and magenta. Orpheus was forming in the jail cell for self preservation, but only fully stabilized and showed himself when Sully killed the nurse watching over them.

+ Liu and Sully would be attempting to hunt down Jeff. Dara is desperately trying to keep peace in the headspace, and Orpheus is living purely off of survival instincts. Individually they all are working towards separate goals, though. + Liu wants to find his brother, and save him. He believes if he fixes his brother, miraculously things may work out

+ Sully wants nothing more than to kill Jeff, and anyone who gets in his way will meet the same fate.

+ Dara wants to live. He simply wants to be happy. He wants a normal life, in a small apartment with a cat. He wants to work in a library and spend the rest of his days reading. 

+ Orpheus is tied to stopping Sully or cleaning up the aftermath so that Liu can get away easily. But he wants to live similarly to Dara, he wants a spouse and a child to care for and dote on. He wants a career and a normal life as well.

+ Suffice to say that he is constantly dealing with inner turmoil.

+ Reader in this fic is a server at a shitty bar and grill. They live in a one bedroom apartment with shitty landlords and a cat smuggled into it. The cat is a black cat named Ricky. They named it that for the fact that when they lecture the naughty cat they wanted it to be a human name.

+ I am sick and tired of having the protagonist be squeamish and super empathetic. I want an adhd character whose head is going a million miles an hour, and is whimsical yet deadpan. I want a character who looks at graphic shit and goes “huh.. Thats fucking gross. Ig?” and stores that shit away. They don’t know how to talk to people but they also have no filter so when some of the sweetest most poetic shit you’ve heard in your life comes from them you’re shocked because a few minutes prior they were pondering how difficult it would be to beat a karen to death with a spoon.

+ I want to write a character who lacks judgment in those around them because they firmly believe that there is so much wrong with them that they have no room to judge others.

+ The reader is the concerned parental friend.

Events I want to happen but in no particular order: + Reader actively falling asleep in bed, whilst Liu lays on the floor next to the bed staring directly at the ceiling. Upon sleepily noticing this they drop their hand down off the edge of the bed, taking his hand into theirs and giving a kind squeeze. Liu’s heart is like pounding out of his chest but he keeps holding it, hes holding it gradually tighter and tighter and can feel tears in his eyes, but composes and loosens up and falls asleep. 

+ The reader not having to ask liu if he has DID, they’re not clueless. They look up his symptoms and learns about it, waiting til he’s comfortable telling them. 

+ The reader looking up grounding methods and using their own techniques to help him come down from rage, mania, and anxiety.

+ Sully enraged because the reader has been seriously injured and going fucking ballistic.

+ Orpheus joining you to cook in the kitchen, humming quietly as you dance through the small kitchen nook.

+ Dara comforting the reader after a long day at work where they’re nonverbal and exasperated to the point of tears.

+ The reader comforts Dara and tells him it’s okay to feel things and process emotions for himself and not just help other people through theirs. 

+ Sneeze shifts

_ _ _  A/N: Thank you so much for stopping by you guys! This is in the works currently and will be a multi chapter fanfic that I will be cross posting on AO3! :))

[xxradzxx]

The aquabats "Charge!" And Reel Big Fish "Candy Coated Fury" aren't pictured btw

[auxiliarydetective]

OC Pride Challenge: Day 17

You can find the challenge here

This week, it's all about LGBTQIA+ artists, so today I'm using a song by mxmtoon for Charlotte Inari.

The song this piece of writing is inspired by is birdie which you can listen to here and read the lyrics here.

This is a very emotionally stressful moment for Inari in which her love for her family and her friends clash and she falls into a crisis. It takes place right after Luffy challenges Big Mom on Fish-Man Island.

“You gave them away?!” Nami shrieked.

Everyone, including Jinbe, the Minister of the Right and King Neptune, was completely shocked. Only Inari seemed somewhat calm.

“She said she was going to destroy the island if she couldn’t get her sweets!” Luffy announced. “Can you believe how crazy she is? - I mean, if it was meat, I’d understand. But don’t worry! I really stood up to her!”

Immediately, chaos broke out again. The Straw Hats were out of their minds, yelling at their captain. Only Inari stayed quiet. This time, out of shock.

“Wow, you’re so tough, Luffy-sama!” Shirahoshi gasped.

“That’s not the point!” Usopp shouted, causing her to cry.

“Wait, wait, Luffy,” Inari said slowly, climbing down from the stairs. A crooked smile marked her face. “You came to an agreement with her, right?”

“Yeah. That I’ll come to the New World and kick her ass!”

Again, the Straw Hats loudly protested. Only Inari said nothing. Her mouth was open and her eyes were widened. Only shallow breathing moved her lungs. Finally, she gulped and looked at her captain with a look of fury and pain.

“You idiot!” She yelled, shoving him backwards.

Then, she sprinted off faster than anyone had ever seen her run before, headed for the castle gates.

“Inari!” Sanji called after her.

“What’s up with her?” Luffy asked, watching her leave.

“You just challenged an Emperor, that’s what’s up!” Usopp hissed.

“Where’s she going?”

“To make a call, I assume,” Jinbe said darkly. “To try and somehow set things straight.”

“What can she do?” Zoro grumbled. “Our Captain made his choice and that’s final. And Big Mom seemed pretty pissed. How is Inari supposed to do anything about that?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” Jinbe asked. “Inari is Big Mom’s daughter.”

For the third time, chaos broke out. Sanji blew out a cloud of smoke. To be honest, he had been expecting it. The pieces had all been there for him to put together. Inari had said in the past that she was the daughter of a powerful pirate and that she was from the New World. And the names. Charlotte Inari. Charlotte Linlin. It was almost embarrassing that he hadn’t made the connection himself back at the candy factory.

“In fact, she’s one of Big Mom’s favourites,” Jinbe continued. “She spent the last two years with her family. Everyone was glad to have her back. As far as I know, her mother only let her go travel with you guys again under the condition that she stayed loyal to her family.”

“But if Luffy just challenged Big Mom,” Brook mumbled, “what’s going to happen to Inari-san?”

“Idiot!” Sanji snapped, kicking Luffy in the head so that his neck stretched out before everything snapped back into place. “Go after her and apologize right now!”

“I had no choice!” Luffy protested. “I can’t let that crazy hag destroy the island!”

“Then I’ll go after her and you better hope we can find a solution to this or I’m beating you up.”

When Inari saw the Sunny, she started running again. It was coated, covered in that protective bubble that would get them to the New World. But the way things looked now, they’d be coming into a world she didn’t want to be a part of. She climbed onto the deck, bumping into Franky as he came out from below deck.

“Woah, Inari!”

But she kept going, up the stairs to the dining room.

“What’s going on?” Franky called after her. “You look super stressed!”

“Ask Luffy!” Inari shouted back before slamming the door behind her.

She headed straight for the little side desk next to the couch where the ship’s Den Den Mushi rested, eyes closed. Hectically, she picked it up and dialed her mother’s number. She knew she wouldn’t get through to her immediately, but she’d have to try. The dialing sound seemed to go on for hours without end. With every passing second, Inari got more and more nervous. Finally, she heard a familiar voice on the other end.

“Hello?”

It was one of her brothers.

“Mont-d’Or-kun? This is Inari. Listen, I need to talk to Mama immediately.”

“Really? Is it urgent?”

“Very urgent.”

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you.”

Silence again. At least getting through the first line of defense had been easy. Mont-d’or wasn’t the most trusting, but he trusted her and he cared for her. All of her siblings did and that was the problem. Once again, the wait was unbearable, and this time it was an even longer wait because Mont-d’or had to traverse the castle to get to Big Mom’s throne room. Finally, he spoke again:

“Inari?”

“Yes?”

“Mama is angry. Do you really want to talk to her?”

“That’s exactly why I want to talk to her.”

“Do you know what happened?”

“Yes, Luffy challenged her.”

“Luffy? As in Monkey D. Luffy, your friend? The captain of the Straw Hats?”

“Exactly.”

“That small fry challenged Mama?”

“Yes!”

“Well, if that’s the case, you’d better come back to Totto Land and leave the Straw Hats behind.”

Inari sighed. “You know I can’t do that. They’re my friends! They’ve saved my life countless times, they care about me and-”

“But we’re your family.”

“I know. - Come on, let me talk to Mama. I can figure this out.”

“Alright. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Inari could hear a door open, probably the doors to Big Mom’s throne room. This time, the silence wasn’t as long. Only a short while later, her mother was on the phone.

“Inari…” she said, audibly upset. “I knew you’d call. I just talked to your friend, Straw Hat Luffy.”

“I know, Mama.”

Inari’s thoughts were spinning. How was she supposed to do this? Was she supposed to try and rationally argue with her mother? No, that never worked. It was already a miracle that she had taken up Luffy’s offer of trading the treasure for Fish-Man Island’s safety.

“He really challenged me, that damn brat. You told me he wouldn’t be an issue. And now, barely a week after you left, he has the guts to say he’ll kick my ass and take Fish-Man Island from me.”

Tears had started collecting in Inari’s eyes and she felt a lump forming in her throat.

“I know, Mama. But- Please, he’s just too impulsive for his own good, you have to forgive him.”

“I don’t forgive, Inari,” Big Mom growled. “Especially not something like this.”

“Please, Mama,” Inari begged. “I promise, it won’t happen again! I- I’ll make him apologize!”

That would never happen. Luffy would never apologize for what he had done or said. If Luffy said he’d kick someone’s ass, eventually, he would. During the last two years, Inari had fantasized about the Straw Hats becoming allies with the Big Mom Pirates, about Luffy and her mother getting along over their love for food. But now, she realized how absolutely stupid she had been to think that.

“I don’t want an apology. Listen closely, Inari, you need to choose. Either you come back home to your family or abandon us and follow that brat to his doom.”

Tears rolled down Inari’s face and her voice trembled as she asked: “Are you really making me choose?”

“Yes, I am. And you know there’s only one option. Get on Tamago and Pekoms’s ship and come back to me.”

“I- I think they already left,” Inari stammered. “Can I…?” She took a deep breath. “Can I have the Straw Hats bring me to Totto Land?”

Silence. Silence that made her terrified.

“Alright,” Big Mom finally said. “If that brat challenged me, he might as well come here. But don’t keep me waiting for too long.”

Then, she hung up. Inari was left shaking. Exhausted, she let herself fall onto the couch and started to sob. It wasn’t fair! Why in the world was it always her that pulled the shortest end of the stick? Being taken away from home as a little child, passed around from crew to crew until she ended up in the clouds, never ever belonging and always being treated as inferior? She had thought that things would finally change for the better when she was with the Straw Hats - and they had! Until that day two years ago when they had been split up. At first she had thought that being sent back home had been a blessing and she still did, really, she did, but… It would have all been so much easier if she could have just gotten to the New World without her mother and Luffy ever interacting so she could introduce the crew as her saviours - which they were - and everyone would’ve been happy and gotten along! That had been her plan and it had been a great plan, but now it was all ruined. Now, everything was ruined!

That was when the door opened. Quickly, Inari tried to wipe the tears from her face but she wasn’t fast enough. Even if she had been, her eyes had to be red and puffy from all the crying. Plus, the one in the doorway was Sanji. He could sense girls crying from a mile away.

“Inari-chan,” he said softly.

Avoiding any sudden movements, he closed the door and sat down on the couch next to her. Immediately, Inari let herself fall onto his shoulder and buried her face in his chest, hoping that the smell of cigarettes that always stuck to him would somehow make things better. In the past it had. After all, it was the smell of safety. But now, it didn’t. In fact, it may just be making things worse. Sanji rubbed her back gently.

“It’s alright,” he mumbled. “It’ll all be okay.”

“No,” Inari sobbed, pulling herself away to rub her eyes once again. “No, it’s all a mess.”

“What happened? Did you call your mother?”

“You know?”

“Jinbe told us.”

Inari nodded and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. “I called Mama to try and fix what Luffy did. But she says she won’t forgive him. And then she said… She said I have to choose between you guys and my family! Isn’t that messed up?!”

Sanji said nothing. He just sighed, smoke escaping into the air.

“She wanted me to come home right away, with Tamago and Pekoms,” Inari continued, “but I lied to her and said they’d already left. I get to travel with you until we reach Totto Land. That’s where my family lives. … And then it’s lights out.”

“Is Totto Land far into the New World?” Sanji asked.

“Pretty far.”

“Then you still have time. We can figure something out.”

“No, we can’t.”

“Then you have time to think about what you’re gonna choose.”

Inari sighed. “The problem is that I can’t choose. I’ve thought about it before. A few weeks from now, when I realized the date we were supposed to meet was coming up, I - please, don’t get mad at me-”

“I would never.”

“I actually questioned if I should come back or not. It was only for a moment, but I was worried Mama would get angry at me if I told her. Back then, I had a solution. I made a deal with her that I could go off as long as… You know, as long as something like this didn’t happen. But it did! And now I’m stuck between two worlds. Really, it’s always been like this, but it was never a problem until now. I’m not just a member of the Big Mom Pirates and I’m not just a member of the Straw Hat Pirates, I’m both! I can’t just be one or the other, I’m somewhere in-between. I’ve tried to pick one, I really have, but it doesn’t work. Mama argues with family, Mont-d’or says family, but you’re my family too! Just a different kind of family. They say blood is thicker than water but is that true? And if it is, why won’t they let me stay with you? It’s because Luffy and Mama are enemies, yes, but… Damn it, why is the world of pirates so complicated?”

“I don’t know,” Sanji said. “I don’t see how we can solve this problem yet.”

“What do you think I should choose?”

“I can’t tell you that. It’s up to you to decide. But no matter what you choose, I won’t be angry at you. You’ll always be my little sister.”

Inari stayed silent, trying to muster a smile. “Please, don’t tell Luffy,” she said. “I don’t even wanna think about his reaction when he finds out. I need to come up with a way to tell him gently and even that won’t work but I need time to… mentally prepare, you know?”

“I won’t tell him or anyone else,” Sanji promised.

They sat in silence for a while. Inari was fidgeting nervously, twirling her locks around her finger and tugging at them. So, Sanji got up and held his hand out to her to help her up too.

“Let me make you a snack, alright? And while I do that, you tell me about your family.”

Inari sighed once more and nodded. She took his head and got onto her feet almost elastically, as if nothing had happened.

“If your mother’s called Big Mom, you have to have a lot of siblings, right?” Sanji asked as he pulled various utensils out of the cabinets and drawers.

“85,” Inari said.

Sanji chuckled.

“No, I’m serious,” Inari insisted. “39 sisters and 46 brothers.”

“Wow, your mother really got busy, huh? How’s that even possible?”

“Most of us are multiples. There’s even one set of decuplets.”

“Decuplets? That’s 10, right?”

“Yup.”

“Ten. Wow.”

Sanji looked over his shoulder. His plan seemed to be working. He had gotten Inari started on talking and now she’d be rambling for a while, as she usually did. That was good in multiple ways. It was music to his ears and great to listen to while cooking and it was distracting her from the call.

“And we’re all named after something food-related. I’m named after inari-zushi. Also, I’m number 77.”

“Lucky number.”

“Lucky number.”

“And you all live in Totto Land together?”

“It’s an archipelago of 35 islands where…”

[amplifyme]

@randomfoggytiger Hope you don't mind me doing this, but in order to conserve space I'm going to cherry-pick some of your comments from your ask concerning Helper and address them here. A Read More option when sending asks would be nice, yeah?

Anywho, come below for more.

First, I love that you love this story as much as you do, because it's a wonderful peek at the beginning of a relationship between Vincent and Diana that goes beyond friendship, but that absolutely started there.

Also, Diana schooling herself about her disappointment at “only” being a Helper to Vincent was a great moment and feeling awkward and out of place and frustrated overall… and Vincent smiling and waiting for her in the alley right after leaving Lena is suuuuuuuuuuuuuuch a different dynamic on a reread. 

That's why I adore the AWTN series. Because it almost forces you to reread it, just so you're sure you've assembled all the pieces Nan placed there to be found. That's the mark of a great piece of fiction.

Angelo DeMarco works in a hardware store-- the same one from the series??? (Or a different one.)

That's an interesting question. You may be right!

“…didn't Lena know this man at all?” Diana’s fury is a sight to behold on my first read and even more so knowing her mannerisms now. And also: she’s saved Vincent more times in their relationship than he has saved her; and I adore that.

Toldja so! It's the original premise of the series flipped on its head. Diana is the protector this time.

Her honest frankness-- ““Nothing: lost my temper over….” She changed her mind again. Some people, you never could give less than the truth, no matter what."

Yes to all of this. Vincent not only deserves, but needs someone in his life who doesn't candy-coat the truth. And Diana gives him that. And this is not based on conjecture, but canon. Do you see why their alley conversation in In the Forests of the Night was such a revelation when it finally aired 5 months after the series finale? It was the missing piece fans needed to complete the picture of Diana and who she is.

““Whether she was somehow picking it up from Vincent or however, Diana knew he'd figured at least some of it out for himself, and he was mad.”” Insert the Farquaad pointing meme here: EMPATH.

Right?? And I can't express to you how much I love the mug tossing scene. I can so clearly see V sidearming that mug into the wall 30 feet away and Cullen winding up like a pitcher and throwing his. Nan is so good at painting pictures with her words.

Gratitude! That’s the thing about life Below-- so much of it is built and sustained by gratitude: working together as a community, escaping their former lives to live Below, relying on Helpers and their supplies Above, etc.

This is why I've wished for decades that the tunnel community was real. I would move down there in a New York minute! Yes, pun intended.

““Slowly shoving himself onto his feet, he reached for Mouse with one hand, held the wall with the other, and when he finally felt himself more or less secure, reached for her, pulling her around to the inside, against the cliff, with both him and Mouse between her and the drop. Protecting her, automatic, like of course, doesn't everybody? No, my heroes, they do not…. She got all choked up, and her eyes stung. Feeling his arm come down like a log across her shoulders, she grabbed his wrist in front and held it hard, knowing they'd both hear her sniffing, and who cared anyway. “Can't shut me up that easy, buster,” she declared, ducking to scrub her face against the shawl, as it lay over her upper arm. “Shut up, Diana,” he responded placidly. “Oh. That's different. Why didn't you say so in the first place?””--

This whole thing. *chef's kiss*

The follow up-- ““She had to turn away, this time. She couldn't help it. But she put out a hand blind, and felt it taken, so he'd know perfectly well what she couldn't have said, ever. What she did say, shakily, was, “I didn't know you meant it.””-- makes me curious: what do you think she was thinking? That she wasn’t x/y/z enough for him/his trust?

It's clear that Diana has as many self-esteem issues as Vincent. I think she probably figures there's no way he would really want to let her in the way he did. Like she didn't think she deserves it.

I guess my point is: Cathy and Father = no self-awareness; Vincent and Diana = heaps of self-awareness but also heaps of self-doubt and wrong self-diagnoses. Pros and cons of both. D/V can understand and diagnose each other in ways that Father and Cathy can’t/couldn’t understand; and what trips Vincent up is something that Diana can help him overcome and vice versa.

Look, you answered your own question! This is a very astute reading of these four characters. Brava!

Vincent taking the chair and Diana feeling a sense of freedom and their first forehead touch and kiss, wow. I NEVER KNEW HOW MONUMENTAL THAT WAS because it was written so casually (in the spirit of Diana’s mood and Vincent’s response.) It’s just so… right, and “innocent”, and cozy, and fitting, and uncomplicated, and everything made sense. AND RIGHT AFTER LENA’S FORCEFUL KISS PREVIOUSLY IN THE EVENING-- THE COMPARISONS: Diana not expecting anything from him and Vincent smiling this time.

Wasn't that scene lovely?? I mean, come on. 🥰

““Father has always said that if one takes a story, one must be careful to take all of it, not merely part.””

I'll let you in on a little secret. That line was Nan's very subtle dig at the Classic-only fans, the ones who refused to watch S3 (or did and then refused to acknowledge it).

It was such a revelation to find Nan and AWTN when I did because no one was writing S3 fanfic unless it involved a SND (She's Not Dead) scenario. I wanted to read about what might happen between V & D, not fics about Cathy being miraculously brought back to life or it was all some terrible mistake or whatever. Nan literally opened the door for writers to create a fourth season. I will be forever grateful to her for that.

Cathy loves what makes Vincent human, and likely had fears about her baby, calling him beautiful once he was born and she was he was (outwardly) completely human. If he had been like Vincent, I think she would have loved him equally; but how could she have raised that child Above? So many complications. ANYWAY, Diana, meanwhile, has the same hesitancies about Charles; but when she meets him, she falls in love with him immediately, though he is outwardly another of Vincent’s unique kind. Nan did so well at capturing the part of Diana that embraces all of Vincent with her love in that first reaction to his second child (seeming to have immediately attached herself more personally to Charles than Jacob even, since no one at that time but Buster and her even wanted the little guy.)

You've stated this so perfectly. Diana fell in love with Charles the same way she did his father. Fully and completely. Unconditionally. Can you imagine what effect that sort of unconditional love must've had on Vincent over time? I so wish we'd gotten AWTN 4.

Okay, back to more transcribing for me.